The Anecdote of My Life...

Random....

2010-08-09T17:31:00.002+08:00

Ohy my my!!!...it takes a very long time for me to post a new one for my blog, almost forgot that i do have a blog huhuhu.....what I hope for this new start,it will start with rather good things that something that can change my life to dull time again....

Conflicts happened every year. however, some of them, i did manage to handle, and sometimes, i got angry for no reasons. of course, there should be a good reasons for the things to happen but how people want to settle it down or clear up is really matters and i had better choose to explain n honest rather than keep quiet and let it be with the flow. Please don't make other people think hard on u. just tell and share..i can do it. i will do it. i'll try to change.

Ramadhan is just around the corner, and Insyallah we will meet again our beloved month.My wish, hoping that this precious month will be lighten our life as a Muslim more than the previous year.

Ahlan Wasahlan Ya Ramadhan Al-Mubaraq

Me again................

2010-05-23T09:11:00.002+08:00

Hi guys...it has been a long long time, i'm not posting anything here...Feeling empty and alone make me focus more on other things,.

Alhamdulillah for these past few months my health condition better and better. Thanks for all those people who always concern and care me from the day start till now.

Actually I'm losing idea of what to writer here on...hmmm....I get a lot of messages asking me what happen to all my blogs huhuhu...I'm truely sorry but Insyallah I will post something again....

I'm wondering will you ever stop missing someone you love or someone you who you really believe you soulmate??

As for me, I don’t know :-( I hope I never have to know, It makes me feel sad that anyone would have to go through that…but it is life of course :-)

But ..if i did,..no I wouldn’t stop missing them…with soulmates, in some ways i think, they don’t really go anywhere. It’s like loosing someone who has passed away but is in your heart every day, that energy of love remains.

A soulmate is a bond that isn’t broken by distance or separation. It is even stronger from it maybe.
But hell no!! You would never stop missing them!! the pain just turns to something else…

I hope :-)

Better me Better You....

2010-03-13T14:58:00.003+08:00

There is a very popular saying that goes, “The grass is always greener on the other side”. This is very true, provided that the observer can see colours properly. Literally, green is green, so why the fuss? Thinking logically, the owner of the grass that is greenest of them all should have black grass, because by greener we mean darker shade of green. That is, however, if we think logically. But what does it mean by greener? Figuratively, this time. We do not see other people’s grass with envy, unless you are planning to enter a lawn competition. We see people with envy, anything to every single thing. Some people do better than us; at least that’s what we think. But how do we evaluate better? In the same line of work, yes, it is fair to say something is better than another. But more often than not we are comparing unfairly. I mentioned before that we do have our own places in this world. However, we are also endowed with want. Want and greed. Definitely not a good combination. We do see people that have better lives than us, have greater chances and opportunities than us, or simply luckier than us. If those things happen just because you refuse to work for it, then you have yourself to blame. But you cannot work for luck and chances, so you just simply...shit out of luck. I’ve been there and I’ve seen people who have better opportunities than I am. I always think that if I were them, I’d do so many things I’ve dreamed about. But I’m not, and no matter how much I work for something, sometimes they just go down the drain because...I’m shit out of luck. This makes me feel that I’ve fallen into an endless hole and unable to climb out of it, no matter how hard I tried. At some point, yes, it depresses me, but it keeps me thinking. What if I’m given all I want? Would I still be the person that I am? If every people have want and greed, so I must have something that they want. By stopping the chain of envy at myself, only then I can be happy with my own self. That thought keeps me going for days to come, but I do wonder, will someday I hit a wall so hard and so high that I finally give up? There are challenges in life that cannot be met by willpower only. What if we do a thing so nicely and perfectly in order and still cannot get what we expect? Especially when it involves your feeling, unpredictable and unstable as it is, we cannot just bury it when it really wants something. Then we can either wallow in sadness or try to move on. Wallow in sadness, and you chip yourself off bit by bit until you become an empty shell. Try to move on at your own discretion, as there is always a possibility that you get hurt again and again. There is always a next day for everyone, or a next week, or a next year. And every day brings new opportunities for us to grab. Who knows, one of these days, you get to have what you always wanted, and from that point on, never let it go. Hardship taught us how valuable a thing is, or person is. The day when you wake up and find out that no one else has greener grass than yours, is the happiest day in your life that you will ever have.It will be a better me and a better you. Insyallah...........

hope or dream

2010-02-05T00:43:00.001+08:00

I often use the word berharap.... harapnye.... harap2la etc HOPE yet..to what extent does hope refers to?

is it the same as PROMISES?

does it equals to DREAM?

Literally, hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life..

can I hope for all those listed in my dream's list to become true?

can hope bring me complete happiness in life?

How many hopes does it actually make things I want a reality?

We have to endure the human life with HOPE and FAITH as the great struggle or JIHAD of human life is the struggle to perfect one's heart and live in total submission to Allah

When we realize our sin and make amends with true remorse, Allah forgives the sin..insyaAllah

Say, '' O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins [ for those who repent and correct themselves]. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful(Surah az-Zumar 39:53)

In religious context, hope isn't just about wanting something good to happen

Its about not giving up on God when you are at most despair...

about the importance of realizing Allah's mercy

about having faith and hope in Him especially when making dua

about calling to Allah alone for forgiveness

and the importance of repentance in the life and faith of a believe...

They said, ''We have given you good tidings in truth, so do not be of the despairing.
He said, '' And who despairs of the mercy of his lord except for those astray?'' [15:55,56]

Takdir Cina..takdir cinta??

2010-01-28T22:50:00.002+08:00

Without pain there can be no pleasure, with out light there can be no dark. Perhaps, my mind is reeling tonight with too many eastern philosophies, but it seems that your answers lie in this: "Notseeing disreable things prevent confussion of the heart."

Hmm...I'm not brave enough to meet him, why?..He still love me or nope? Is this our takdir cinta? Loving only from far..even he is just there I felt he is thousands mile apart....What I can do only see him from far? Cant touch him like I'm suppose to...........

Up & Down

2009-12-18T14:52:00.002+08:00

I know a man. An old man actually. When I was little, he was rich, has multiple wive plus had some affairs too. I know because I heard about it even saw it once. Didn't know what I saw then but now I do. Ohh...,Living the life he won't be so proud of now. Anyway. At that time he was on top of the world, rich and handsome. Had beautiful children who acted just like him, well not all of them.

But then things started to turn around. Bussiness collapse and when you're poor girls left you. Luckily one stay, as usual the first wife. I guess. Live up with his pension. Whiled he stayed home. He eventually changed. He became this guy who wears white robe, went to the mosque for every prayers. One that impress me is that he even wrote a book. About behavioural problems, how to live life the way prophet Muhammad SAW did. How to do it in our time. Ironic. Anyway. It doesn't matter who he is, what matter is what he wrote.

So, it got me thinking. Can we live our life recklessly when we are young, then when we are old just repent. Just repent and everything will be fine. It's not fair. Well, in this case I think he's just lucky. He got to live up to this age and realized what a jerk he was.I think because when we are old. We have gone through all the big milestones of life that most young people look foward to. You know, like finishing studies, have a career, getting married, have children and grancdhildren or even contract a disease. Then, what's left is the end of your life. Maybe at that time only we'll think. All that is left to do is surrendering ourselves to God.That we should have done as early as we can. Which I know very hard and I wish to be as lucky as him.

Selfish..

2009-12-16T09:02:00.003+08:00

I think it has been a long time I'm not in the mood to write anything even I stop reading too...after what happen its make me realize our life its not just abt ourself only, its more than that.Sometimes we did mistakes and we never realize it until all the incident came up. Selfish maybe thats the suitable word....hmmmm
Don't you think its selfish to call yourself unselfish? Come to think of it, everyone is selfish. Things that we do for others usually in a way also has a benefit to ourselves too. No matter how noble it seems there's always something behind it that has some personal profit on us. Like rich people gave donation, as a result they will get recognition for being generous. A guy helped an elderly to cross a road, he'll get self-satisfaction. It's a good thing but you know the guy won't help the elderly in the first place if he's gonna hate himself afterwards. Sometimes we just do good things just to please others so that we won't look bad or sometimes we just do good things so that in the future people will do the same to you too. Don't you think? Hmmmm..... I just hate that when people claim how unselfish they were, how they've done this and that sincerely just to help others. Then why would you tell others about it, just so that people will adore you? aih. You can tell it all you want to others but just don't call yourself unselfish.

Enough about that.

Anyway, how do you expect people to listen to you if you don't listen to others? People talked a lot. I mean a lot. And they expect others to listen. Listen and understand and share the same emotions as what they are having. But then when others talked they're are just like, 'Oh really?' and that's all. Unless it's some controversial issues or some stupid jokes. I know it's tiring, especially listening to others problems but can't you just listen. Don't do other stuff or changed the topic and don't undermine or ridicule what they had said. It hurts when people just said "ala, xde pape tuh" or just laughed it away. It's hard for some people to confide and it usually something very important for them. Just listen and try to understand even though if its really hard to accept.

Well, its not entirely true but you know it happens.

Kenapa begitu berubah?

2009-12-07T08:26:00.002+08:00

Apa yang korang rasa apabila sesuatu atau seseorang dalam hidup korang berubah sedikit demi sedikit dan seterusnya menjadi sangat berbeza seolah-olah sudah tidak sama dengan seperti sebelumnya? hmmm taktau macamana nak describe kat korang tapi mungkin korang faham apabila sesuatu tu mula lain daripada apa yang biasa .....kenapa? Bosan? Jemu atau apakah sebabnya? Aku sendiri tertanya-tanya, kenapa di awalnya begitu bertenaga, bersemangat tapi kesudahannya begini?...entahlah................

Serious...not serious...be not serious

2009-11-16T09:11:00.003+08:00

Know what would be nice?

If people could stop taking themselves too seriously. Notice how we laugh at other people, we laugh at stupid jokes, we even laugh when someone trips.

But, think.. When was the last time you laughed at yourself?

We can't all be perfect. We mess up and do silly things sometimes. Step back, admit your mistake, and laugh at yourself. You'd be suprised how good it feels to just laugh at yourself for a change................

Emel daripada seorang teman....

2009-11-13T09:13:00.003+08:00

For my loving Fren.....

sy fhm perasan awak tp inilah hakikat kehidupan ida....
Eventhough we are living in the same world,but the truth is we work with different kind of people,with different perspectives,abilities n ideologies.So,we cant assume that people are like us.The way people thinking or even their sensitivity are differs from all others.And these will influence their action in making decision.If they dont take it as a serious matter as what you do,you will never get what you expected from them.That's y people cannot get along in this life and politics come into play with different manifestos,ideologies,belief and so on.

I feel sorry for you.I know how much you work for all of these thing but believe me,you will be rewarded and paid for all the hard work and efforts that you have give if your intention for the sake of Allah and you will achieve something that are more valuable,maybe not taday,maybe not tomorrow but soon for the rest of your life.:-)

Be sincere always,

Yasmin Suraya, 12.05am
Copenhagen.

p/s: Thanks Min, you always my best fren.

Disturbance..

2009-11-05T12:56:00.002+08:00

Thinking disturbance is manifested by a distortion in reality, sometimes with delusions and hallucinations
Mood disturbance is manifested by inappropriate affective responses.
Behavior disturbance may be manifested by bizarre activity

Ketiga-tiga teori di atas merupakan term-term yang sempat ku pelajari daripada seorang psychiatrist di sini, namun bagiku sebagai seorang Islam semua ini bergantung kepada IMAN kita.Tanpa kita sedar sebenarnya Iman lah yang mengawal tingkah laku kita, Iman lah jugak yang mengawal perasaan dan Iman juga lah yang mengawal fikira kita.Pada saat Keimanan itu lemah dengan gangguan dan cubaan hidup maka di sinilah akan wujud gangguan-gangguan tersebut. Walau apapun kita hanyalah manusia biasa.....kadang-kadang iman kita setipis kulit bawang, mampu terkoyak bila-bila masa. Aku teringat akan satu kata-kata hikmah yang ingin aku kongsi bersama kalian di sini:

Keimanan yang benar menjadikan perjalanan kehidupan seperti sebuah kisah cinta; kesetiaan dan pengorbanan menukarkan ujian pahit menjadi kenangan manis, kesabaran menjadikan segala beban yang ditanggung menjadi ringan, keyakinan pada janji-janji Allah menjadikan jiwa tenang ketika perjalanan begitu sukar, kerinduan padaNya menjadi pembakar semangat setiap kali berdepan dengan kegagalan.

Alangkah indahnya kata-kata ini........ Ya Allah Izinkan aku mencari sedikit ketenangan dariMU dalam menghadapi gangguan liku kehidupanku ini....Aminnn......

Izinkan aku terus tersenyum..........

Menasihat, dinasihati & ternasihat

2009-11-03T14:31:00.003+08:00

Aku rasa sangatlah susah untuk menasihati dan juga untuk mendengar nasihat....Kadang-kadang memakan masa bertahun-tahun namun orang yang dinasihati tidak juga berubah, masih sama seperti itu juga.Walau bagaimanapun dalam sesetengah kes ada juga yang sekali nasihat dah jadik dah...terpulang kepada individu, masing-masing ada cara sendiri dalam memberi nasihat dan menerima nasihat. Sedih Geram Helpless Bengang Marah Sedih balik Rasa macam nak biarkan aje dirinya, tapi aku amat menyayangi hamba Allah ini. Mana mungkin aku terus membiarkan dirinya begitu sahaja. Tapi aku dah tak berdaya,dia seorang yang degil, sudah ketandusan idea. Semua cara aku dah buat, cara lembut, cara slow, kiasan sampai tahap aku marahkan dia tapi ..... Orang cakap nasihat biarlah berhikmah, tapi macam mana kalau hikmah dah habis mestilah rasa nak marah jugak kan? dah banyak dah tolak ansur ..last2 aku yang menjadi mangsanya semula. Semua kesalahan dibalikkan pada aku. Aku ke yang salah?? Aku buntu, adakah aku lemah sebagai penasihat? atau pintu hatinya memang tidak terbuka untuk menerima caraku menasihatinya? Tapi kenapa dia boleh terima nasihat orang lain? Allah itu Maha Kaya....dalam usaha aku menasihati mereka yang lain, diri aku sendiri yang ternasihat.Diri aku yang dinasihati, terdidik tentang kelemahan diri aku sendiri. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui dan tiada apa yang boleh berlaku tanpa izin daripadaNYA. Akhirnya aku hanya mampu berserah..........

" Seandai dirinya tercipta untukku...relaku menjadi miliknya"

Kenapa aku menjadi mangsa kalian?

2009-11-03T12:51:00.004+08:00

Pagi tu, suasana hening seperti sekali, keadaan sunyi sepi membuatkan dirinya berasa tenang. Alhamdulillah dapat lagi dia menghirup udara segar hari ini. Dengan lembut dia meramas-ramas pehanya, agaknya sampai bilakah dia akan tersadai di atas kerusi roda ini, hatinya sangat ingin berjalan dan bergerak seperti mereka yang lain. Walau apapun dia tak pernah berhenti berusaha dan berdoa bagi memulihkan semula kakinya itu.Perutnya masih belum lapar walaupun belum menjamah apa-apa sejak bangun dari tidur.
Tiba-tiba, kedengaran nada dering daripada handphonenya menandakan ada sms yang sedang masuk, beberapa kali berbunyi, siapa pulak yang hantar sms banyak betul detik hatinya sendirian. Dia cuba menggerakkan kerusi ke arah almari di mana terletak handphone tersebut. Dia menekan punat open dan hatinya begitu luluh sejurus membaca sms tersebut.
Message pertama :" Please dont contact n call or ganggu my bf. Dia pun tak nak lyan u dah. Thank you. Take Care." Dia membalas sms tersebut dengan bertanya" who are u? who is ur bf?" Sesungguhnya dia buntu apabila menerima sms berbentuk serangan itu. Message kedua dan ketiga juga berbentuk yang sama, memberi amaran. Dia terus menerima sms daripada pihak satu lagi dan dia terus membalas, cuba bersabar dan bertenang walaupun hati seolah-olah ditusuk duri yang amat tajam, sakit, pedih. Message seterusnya " my bf ialah Faddzrul a.k.a Ayo, u tak ada apa-apa hubungan lagi dengan dia, jauhkan diri daripada dia, dia pun dah tak nak u lagi, sedar diri tu sedikit, orang dah tak nak pun masih terhegeh-hegeh lagi, perempuan taktau malu"
Ya Allah apa ni??......dia terus menghantar sms kepada lelaki tersebut, mendail nombornya berkali-kali tapi malangnya tiada jawapan, deringan dibiarkan putus begitu. Tergamaknya lelaki yang disayangi menipu dan bermain kayu tiga di belakangnya, yang paling menyedihkan bila diri diserang dengan bermacam kata tohmahan dan hinaan. Dia perempuan yang tak tahu malu, dia perempuan tak sedar diri, bukan aku. Dia siapa , apa hak dia mengatakan aku sebegitu walhal hakikatnya dia tidak tahu apa-apa. " tak sedar diri jugak u ni....orang dah tak nak tu, dah la....ni lagi tak sedar diri, perempuan kampung tak sedar diri, tak padan pakai tudung mulut jahat, u ni memang sundal la oranng dah tak nak tu faham-faham jer la, ni masih nak call n contact dia"
" Good, thanks for everything.....ingat diri tu sikit, sekarang dia dengan i bukan dengan u lagi, u dah putus dengan dia, dah tak ada apa-apa dengan dia, u perempuan jahat yang xlayak untuk dia, i perempuan baik untuk dia, even Fazrul sendiri cakap i perempuan yang dia pilih untuk gantikan Eiyda dan u, malah i perempuan lebih baik daripada korang berdua"
Ya Allah apa semua ni?
" Who are u?" Dian cuba menyoal lagi, hatinya begitu terdesak untuk mengetahui siapakah dia makhluk di sebalik semua sms tersebut, namun jauh di sudut hatinya dia tahu siapa gerangannya.
" You tak perlu tanya siapa i....i tak kenal u...u tak kenal i, cuma i nak u jangan ganggu bf i lagi kalau tak u tahulah.."
Hati Dian mula panas, dasar pengecut tak berani nak kenalkan diri. ''I know who you are, You must be Azeera right? Dasar betina perampas, u yang tak sedar diri, u yang tak tahu malu, perempuan murahan yang tahu nak merampas hak orang sahaja, kalau u nak sangat kat dia ambiklah..i tak heran pun tapi bayar semua hutang dia pada i, i nak u berdua bayar ganti rugi atas maruah i yang u hina tadi, perempuan low class !!!, I will never forgive both of u because of this"
Dian masih cuba mendapatkan Fadzrul tetapi tidak sekali pun dia menjawab panggilannya itu. HUh!!!!!! Saat itu juga dirasakan dadanya berombak kencang seolah-olah akan meletup.Air mata mula bergelinangan, dirasakan diri begitu bodoh ditpu hidup-hidup selepas mempertaruhkan segala kesetiaan dan kepercayaan, sayang sekali dirinya tersilap mengatur langkah, lelaki itu telah menggantikannya sekelip mata. Di mana nilai cintanya selama ini?? Apa nilai kasihnya selama ini.....
Dia berhenti menjawab sms daripada perempuan gila tersebut, namun sms masih bertalu-talu masuk dengan pelbagai lagi kata-kata yang terus melukakan hatinya.
Badannya mula berasa sakit, sedikit demi sedikit, hati terus merintih, mata terus mengalirkan air mata tidak berhenti......cuba mendapatkan bekalan ubat di penjuru katil....habis..
Dia cuba turun untuk mendapatkan ubat lain di fridge, cuba mencapai tongkat dan berdiri. Dia bergerak perlahan-lahan untuk menuruni tangga. Dadanya begitu sakit, ya allah kuatkan hambaMu ini....bahagian belakang kepala juga mula berdenyut-denyut. Darah mula mengalir dari hidungnya, setiap kata-kata daripada sms bergema berulangkali di telinganya. Bayangan wajah kedua-dua insan tesebut bersilihganti di pandangan mata yang berkaca dengan titisan mutiara.T Sampai hati kau buat aku macam ni, besar sangat ke kesalahan aku pada kau?!!!Betul ke aku tak layak untuk dia?? Kenapa dia mesti canang semua keburukan aku pada perempuan tu? Ini ke nila cinta dia selama ini? Ini ke tanda kasih dia selama ini??Tangisannya makin jelas kedengaran. Pandangannya mula berpinar, tiba-tiba satu sinaran putih menyelubungi, terasa aliran panas darah yang mengalir di hidung terus mencurah-curah, cuba bertahan memegang bidai tangga, tapi peganganya makin longgar,kekuatannya makin hilang, semuanya kelihatan kelam. Dalam keadaan sebegitu dia masih lagi terasa hatinya sakit " Aku tidak akan sesekali memaafkan perbuatan mereka. Demi Allah dunia dan akhirat aku tidak redho dengan semua ini" Dia begitu kecewa..
Semuanya padam, yang ada hanyalah satu lautan hitam, gelap gelita tiada cahaya..............

My Next Journey..

2009-10-28T16:09:00.004+08:00

I've been here for some times, and just being here is a long and arduous task that I must endure.

How I long to be free, and walk upon this earth, and feast upon its beauty… But it is not feasible, at least for now.

How I envy those who are given the opportunity to be free, to be released of all kinds of duty and responsibility, save for a few.

For now, I must remain here, where I belong, doing what I’m supposed to do.

Eventhough my soul is yearning, trying to claw up to its dream, but it’s not the time yet.

There’s always the next time.

…and the next, and the next…

My place , Your Place.......Our Place

2009-10-21T10:33:00.003+08:00

Each and every one of us is part of a larger system. There is a role for each one of us to play. We choose to be someone, to be an actor/actress in this large show. In order to be a good performer, we must know what we can do best; therefore we came up with the saying, “Play with your strength”.

Hence we come to the process of character building, in which we discover ourselves. In other words, we find out in what way we are hard-wired to do. Some people possess good looks, others are physically fit and the list is endless of what we are capable of doing best. There are also people who blurred the line between his/her best abilities, such as people who have extremely high logic and reflex are natural-born racers. But the point remains the same, find what you do best and exploit it to the max.

Those I mentioned are relatively easy and theoretically possible for everyone who we consider as normal, to achieve. But how about those abnormal people or at least, what WE perceive as such?

We live in a system of conformity we created in which most of us consider as peaceful, non-invasive and non-disturbing. We perceive right as the other side of left as we know it. We can continue the Fibonacci sequence as long as we wanted because with the system, we know what comes next. This system of logic, no matter how much we can say the limit is endless, becomes an annoying paradox in which the system itself becomes the ultimate limiter of ourselves.

This is when things get interesting. People we consider as abnormal, offer solutions which are unthinkable using our logic. Dyslexic people see things differently from us. Right is perceived as left. This gives us a new perspective of life, because these people are not bound with our logic. Even our logic is based on ‘current logic’. Before the invention of radio or television, the possibility of sending two-dimensional data is not comprehensible by human’s mind at that time. Now we know that it is possible. But with our current logic, sending three-dimensional data is impossible, because it requires a deliberate bending of space-time continuum, but 100 years from now, would this logic still stand?

Leonardo da Vinci, one of the greatest thinkers of all time, is dyslexic. This dyslexia of his was retained to his later life as an adult, which enabled him to think differently from other people, seeing reality as malleable and can be shaped as much as he wanted to. Therefore he came up with ideas that are unacceptable to the current logic at his time, but we know now that he was a genius. This dyslexia of his is reflected in his backward handwriting, displaying a great degree of dyslexia.

This disability, as almost all people would call it, is a great asset to the person having the condition, but only the person affected would understand it. It would be a waste of talent if every abnormal person is persecuted as insane or gone haywire. True, there are really insane people. But do we put the same label to everyone who is not like us? It would be great if each parents can nurture their children in a way that they can develop fully to their potential, without being perceived as ‘special’ or ‘spastic’ in their early age.

Difference is a way to say that you follow a different path than me, but ultimately we’ll end up playing our own role in this whole wide world, in a place truly belongs to us. Have you found your path today????

Ouhchhh!!

2009-10-20T09:00:00.005+08:00

They want me to forget everything....For what????I am who I am because of the past - good and bad. No matter the memory... I want to remember the past! My past is a part of me, and an important part at that!

Tanpa sejarah tiada kehidupan hari ini dan bila tiada hari ini maka tidak akan wujudlah masa hadapan.

p/s : kerana sejarah itu, dia masih berada di hatiku hingga kini.

Lelaki oh Lelaki!!

2009-10-18T23:44:00.006+08:00

Sekali lagi entri aku kali ni nak cakap pasal lelaki, sebelum ni asyik cerita pasal keluh kesah perempuan jer kan? so tak salah rasanya sesekali berubah angin...dulu aku pernah mengikuti satu forum oleh Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah dan beliau berkata dalam hati setiap lagi pasti pernah terdetik atau terfikir di fikirannya untuk mempunyai isteri/ perempuan lebih daripada seorang dalam hidupnya.Menurut beliau, walauapapun kita tidak boleh menidakkan hak sebagai seorang lelaki, sesuatu yang diharuskan dalam Islam.Walhal sebenarnya hati lelaki diciptakan dengan beberapa ruang untuk menyanyangi lebih daripada seorang wanita dalam hidupnya. Sejauh manakah kebenaran hakikat ini? Adakah ia sememangnya fitrah kejadian lelaki ataupun hanya satu tuntutan naluri atau nafsu lelaki itu sendiri?Atau pun mungkin juga kerana kaum Hawa diciptakan daripada rusuk kiri Adam dan seharusnya kewujudannya sebagai pelengkap kepada ketidaksempurnaan dalam seorang lelaki?
Dasawarsa ini, aku boleh memberi jaminan, tiada lelaki yang dapat hidup tanpa seorang manusia bernama perempuan, mungkin ada tetapi kebarangkaliannya mungkin satu dalam sejuta. Hakikatnya, lelaki memerlukan kehadiran wanita dalam hidupnya., sebagai ibu, kakak, adik , kawan, teman wanita atau isteri Betul atau tidak, tepuk dada tanya lah hati masing-masing wahai lelaki....
Hmmm...dalam soal kesetiaan, siapa yang lebih setia? Serius aku ingin mengatakan nilai kesetiaan lebih bermakna bagi seorang perempuan berbanding lelaki. Mereka begitu mudah melupakan dan menulis semula kisah hidup mereka apabila sudah bertemu dengan pengganti perempuan sebelumnya. Cuba kita lihat sendiri, seorang lelaki yang kematian isteri, kebanyakan akan mengahwini perempuan lain walaupun tanah kubur si isteri masih merah dengan alasan tiada siapa yang mahu menguruskan rumahtangga dan anak-anak. Tidak mampu, diselubungi rasa sunyi dan sepi....hmmmmm oleh sebab inilah agaknya, kebanyakan anugerah diberikan kepada ibu tunggal bukannya bapa tunggal. Apa sebenarnya nilai wanita dalam hidup seorang lelaki??....................................

Sebenarnya lelaki nampak sebagai seorang yang gagah, kuat dan lebih tahan lasak daripada wanita, walau bagaimanapun fitrah sebenar lelaki tidak dilahirkan dengan kemampuan untuk menahan kesakitan dan godaan.Tidak dinafikan mereka lebih praktikal, optimistis dan relevan dalam setiap tindakan kerana mereka mempunyai 8 akal dan satu nafsu namun sebagai manusia mereka tidak dapat lari daripada dua kelemahan tadi.Mereka tidak mampu menahan kesakitan. Contohnya apabila mereka sakit, mereka akan merungut dan memerlukan seseorang untuk mendengar keluh kesah mereka. Mungkin semua orang di rumah, pejabat atau mungkin satu kampung tahu mengenai.Begitu juga dengan kesunyian, kesepian yang akan membuatkan diri mereka lebih mudah terleka apatah lagi dengan pengaruh godaan-godaan yang membina. Huhu...

Dua hari lepas aku telah bersembang dengan seorang lelaki dalam lingkungan lewat 40-an, dia bersama isterinya, yang aku hairan lelaki itu nampak jauh lebih muda daripada isterinya, masih bergaya dengan jambul yang terjaga rapi. Mereka berdua memakai baju sedondon namun begitu nampak begitu berbeza, si suami begitu segak bergaya sedangkan si isteri nampak agak selekeh dengan badan yang agak berisi dan gempal.Kalau tengok macam kakak pun sesuai kot. Mungkin sebab inilah digalakkan mencari wanita yang lebih muda untuk dijadikan isteri. Tapi yang aku herannya pakcik tu bagitau isteri dia baru lewat 30-an hmmm.....entahlah kadang-kadang perempuan ni bila dah kawin jer mula lupa untuk menjaga diri apatah lagi apabila usia perkahwinan menginjak ke tangga lebih dewasa ramai yang akan leka dan mengabaikan semua tu.Namun kemesraan antara mereka yang mengagumkan diriku, nampak jelas kasih sayang antara mereka, bergurau senda n apa yang best wife dia sangatlah sporting even when that pakcik cakap pasal perempuan lain.
Kebetulan that makcik pergi beli air, and then pakcik tu berkata " kalau nak kahwin lain or lebih dari satu senang ajer tapi uncle rasa takde orang pernah buat kot".Korang rasa apa dia idea pakcik ni? Dia cakap kahwin 2,3 or 4 tapi dalam hari yang sama so semuanya sama dari segi statusnya takpun katanya kalau nak kahwin dua bawak yang tua pergi buat umrah or haji. Masa di Tanah Suci kahwin la, memang sah-sah yang tua tak boleh nak marah or mengamuk sebab kat sana mana boleh marah-marah. Huhu...Then dia cakap ambik pakej yang 3 bulan biar marah tu reda sendiri kat Tanah Suci. Macam-macam la kan??...

Mourning!!

2009-10-17T10:48:00.003+08:00

The world works in equilibrium. To get something you have to pay an equal amount. However in some situation, the equilibrium concept might not work. Even after you have paid a very big amount, even if you shed tears and bloods, even if you lose your precious time, even if you risk your future in it, you might get little of what's you are hoping for, you may even got nothing. in the end you may even get extra gloomy, extra sadness, extra tears flowing on your cheeks, extra hatred, and you may even hurt yourself.

I try my best not to reveal my anger, not to unveil my disappointment, and i try my best not to write in this blog during the climax of my anger. i hope everything will settle out when the time comes. i try to cope with the problem, i try to be positive, i try to put trust on people, i try to push everything done, but it ends up uselessly. i keep reminding myself to believe that people knows his role, people knows his responsibility and he realizes that we live for something. Everyone is born to play his very own role. Just realize it and you will know where to stand. You will know why you are here. If you realize that, the system will run smoothly and you know, you are not responsible only for your own self. Others' fate will also depends on you. and it's not a very little thing that you can see with only one eye. It is really a heavy and tough task. Everybody else will bear the brunt of what you are doing and also of what you're not doing.

I'm not looking for perfectness. I myself is not perfect. I also blame myself for being so stupid, clumsy, idiot and whatever you can think of but at least please grant me with your cooperativeness, please grant me with your passion and please grant me your interest. I really don't care if you are slow, i don't care if your mind is low than standard and i don't care for whatever you are but i do care if you think that just ok is enough. I do care if you are so ignorant of what you should do, i do care if you think you can escape from you responsibility and let others burden by it. Seriously, please and please change your mindset. World doesn't work that way.

One said our action does reflect of what you are, of what your level of knowledge are, of how good you are.On the other hand, this is the measure adapted in the rest of the world. So i really mind about how you see the world and i advise you should too. One even said don't hate the person but hate the action, but i don't think i can do that. Once you break my heart, once you break my trust, i may hate you forever. I may look like this, but i have anger, so don't ever try my patience. I really hate using feeling to manage something. I really hate subjective things, i use objective in most of my doing. So please don't force me to do what i hate the most.

whatever it is, i guess i have to say sorry for those who have listened to my wailing, my whining and cursing. you may hear them again when i'm annoyed, so i apologize in advance...

The secrets of relationship...

2009-10-16T08:50:00.005+08:00

The ten types of relationship that won't work:
1. You care about your partner more than he does about you.
2. Your partner cares more about you than you do about him.
3. You are in love with your partner's potential.
4. You are on a rescue mission.
5. You look up to your partner as a role model.
6. You are infatuated with your partner for external reasons.
7. You have partial compatibility.
8. You choose a partner in order to be rebellious.
9. You choose a partner as a reaction to your previous partner.
10. Your partner is unavailable.

The six BIGGEST mistakes we make in the beginning of a relationship:
1. We don't ask enough questions.
2. We ignore warning signs of potential problems.
3. We make premature compromises.
4. We give in to Lust Blindness.
5. We give in to material seduction.
6. We put Commitment Before Compatibility.

Seven Wrong Reasons to be in a Relationship:
1. Pressure(age, family, friends, etc.)
2. Loneliness and desperation
3. Sexual hunger
4. Distraction from your own life
5. To avoid growing up
6. Guilt
7. To fill up your emotional or spiritual emptiness.
Five Realities about Love
1. Love is not enough to make a relationship work - it needs compatibility and it needs commitment.
2. It just takes a moment to experience infatuation, but true love takes time.
3. It is possible to experience true love with more than one person - there are many potential partners you could be happy with.
4. The right partner will fulfill many of your needs but not all of them.
5. Good sex has nothing to do with true love, but making love does.

Five Deadly Myths about Love
1. True love conquers all.
2. When it's really true love, you will know it the moment you meet the other person.
3. There is only one true love in the world who is right for you.
4. The perfect partner will fulfill you completely in every way.
5. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry with someone, it must be love.

Fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner:
1. Addictions.
2. Anger.
3. Victim consciousness.
4. Control freak
5. Sexual Dysfunction.
6. Hasn't grown up.
7. Emotionally unavailable.
8. Hasn't recovered from past relationships.
9. Emotional damage from childhood.

Here are seven compatibility time bombs that can destroy a relationship:
1. Significant age difference.
2. Different religious background.
3. Different social, ethnic, or educational background.
4. Toxic in-laws.
5. Toxic ex-spouse.
6. Toxic Stepchildren.
7. Long-distance relationships.

Six qualities to look for in a mate:
1. Commitment to personal growth.
2. Emotional openness
3. Integrity
4. Maturity and responsibility
5. High self-esteem.
6. Positive Attitude towards life

eVeRyTHing I Do..... I dO iT 4 u

2009-10-13T13:51:00.001+08:00

Look into my eyes,
you will see what you mean to me!
Search your heart, search your soul!
And when you find me there,
you will search no more!
Don't tell me it's not worth trying for you
can't tell me it's not worth dying for!
You know it's true!
Everything I do I do it for you!
Look into your heart,
you will find there's nothing there to hide!
Take me as I am,
take my life I would give it all,
I would sacrifice!
Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for,
I can't help it there's nothing I want more!
You know it's true!
Everything I do I do it for you!
There's no love like your love!
And no other could give more love!
There's nowhere unless you're there!
All the time all the way!
You can't tell me it's not worth trying for!
I can't help it there's nothing I want more!
I would fight for you, I'd lie for you!
Walk the wire for you, Ya I'd die for you!
You know it's true!
Everything I do, oh!
I do it for you!

Wishing upon the stars

2009-10-13T10:56:00.004+08:00

I have a lot of wishes. Some are waiting to be fulfilled, some I don't even think I can have it and some will never come true. One of it is I always wish to never grow up. Of course I didn't wish this when I was small. I always think I was not much a kid when I was a kid, but now I feel like I wanna be a kid again. No problem and not much to think about. Hmm...

Beside that, theres more than 10 wishes I've dreaming all this while in my life. I dont know....Hmm they will come true or not?

But some wishes are just not meant to be fulfilled. I had my time, I just have to deal with it.

Somehow some people say be careful of what you wished for, you might just get it. That's totally true too.

Or...maybe I should lay low, shouldn't get my hopes up. Hmm...I'm just another gurl.

I want my life back

2009-10-12T10:14:00.004+08:00

M y life was taken from me and manipulated by someone who was mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive to me. After struggeling a lot....now let me show you that I have the power, and strength to take back my life that she took from me when i was in my lowest point of my life and when I was at my weakest. But I have grown since then,this incident widen my thought about how to see the world, risen from the saddness and darkness and slowly but surely I am standing tall and proud and taking back what was mine all alone.....my life and happiness.For sure, i want to smile again, because this is me.How do you get back something that was taken from you? I know you can't change the past, but why is it ok to take someone's life and give them a living death? I want to be able to be active again, I want to be able to do things like I did before or maybe more , I want to be able to fit into my clothes and have people tell me I look great. I want my friends proud to have me in their life, I want my family love me more--but most of all, I want to be-free, fearless, brave life and energetic same like I use to be before.........Hmmmmm

Heart Break Is A Part Of Life

2009-10-12T00:22:00.003+08:00

Dear reader, bellow is what my fren wrote for me when i'm really-really in bad stage of emotion,physical and mentally.Its a great quotes and I wanna share with you guys.....

Realize that whatever is happening (or not) is part at a grand plan at the universe that has divined for your highest good.
Decide that you will go through the grief, anger, disbelief and sadness, but ultimately you will recover, to be wiser and having grown.
Know that love is infinite and you can generate as much as you consume.
Believe there are no limits to love and in future you will love another person and be loved than you can possibly imagine.
Remember not to be so caught up with crying over a lost skateboard (a.k.a Mr XXXX) that you miss the Rolls Royce parking right in front of you (a.k.a Mr RIGHT)....

Entah la....

2009-10-12T00:09:00.002+08:00

Today aku nak cakap pasal " entah la" or " ntah la" atau pun " ntah la...tak tau la"....hmm aku pun tak faham kenapa pada satu ketika kita akan dilanda kebuntuan pada sesuatu dan akan memilih untuk menjawab dengan entah la.......hmmmm.........sebenarnya apa yang berlaku yer?
Kadang-kadang kita selesa menggunakannya kerana ia dapat menyelamatkan keadaan atau mungkin jugak tidak akan mengguris perasaan mana-mana pihak....bergantung kepada keadaan dan situasi " entah la" jugak boleh kedengaran begitu " annoying" dan akan melukakan pihak lain yang sudah pasti mengharapkan sesuatu yang lebih daripada " entah la".Tiada kepastian, tiada kesungguhan yang pasti entah la bukan satu jawapan.........bagiku ia hanyala satu statement untuk melarikan diri daripada memberi jawapan sebenar.....hmmm.....kenapa yer, manusia begitu takut untuk menyatakan hakikat...kebenaran dan kepastian??.....Mungkin kerana sikap manusia dilahirkan dengan perasaan ragu, was-was, penuh curiga dan tiada keyakinan.Inilah yang akan membawa kepada kebuntuan, seolah-olah ingin melarikan diri daripada tanggugjawab memberi penyataan yang sewajarnya....fikir-fikirkanlah.....

Andai semalam milikku 4

2009-10-11T00:15:00.003+08:00

Mereka berdua berkongsi menghabiskan mee maggi tersebut, " I lapar lagi la sayang" Dr. Irwan bersuara kepada isterinya.
" Tu la tadi i dah ajak you keluar makan kan, tak nak sangat now nak makan apa, kat dapur tu kosong ok takde apa dah, tahan jerlah lapar tu, malam-malam ni tak elok makan banyak sangat, boroi ni ha...." Aiza membalas selamba sambil tangannya mengusap-usap perut si suami. " I tinggal you tau kalau ni naik tinggi dari dada ..hehe" tambahnya lagi.
" Oit oit....ooo nak tinggal yer, berani?? cuba la buat " ugut Dr. Irwan.
" Why not? Geli la i lelaki perut boroi ni, sorry la yer sayang" Aiza semakin giat mengusik suaminya itu.
" You wish sayang, you ingat i akan biar jer ke you tinggalkan i? ohh please huh"
Aiza tidak menghiraukan kata-kata Dr. Irwan. Dia terus mengangkat membawa gelas dan mangkuk ke dapur.
Aiza muncul beberapa minit kemudian, " sayang, I penat la..."
" Come here, I urut you k sayang" Dr Irwan menepuk kusyen di sebelahnya menyuruh Aiza duduk di situ.Dia cuba membantu melegakan penat si isteri.Bahu si isteri diurut-urut lembut." Game i dah nak mula dah sayang, if you nak tido masukla dulu
" Amboi, halau kita yer, mana boleh,i temankan you k" balas Aiza lembut.
" Tak payah la, nanti you bising la sayang, komplen macam-macam, hehe" Sudah tahu sangat perangai isterinya itu.Tangannya mengusap-usap kepala Aiza yang sedang berbaring di atas pehanya.
"Tak nakla sayang, tidor sorang" rengek Aiza manja.
" Ai....takkan takut tidor sorang" Dr Irwan sengaja bertanya dan mengerutkan keningnya walhal dia telah masak dengan perangai Aiza yang takkan tidor sendiri tanpanya sekiranya dia bermalam di situ.
Dr. Irwan terus menumpukan perhatiannya kepada kaca tv.Aiza masih di situ.

15 min kemudian, Dr Irwan melihat isterinya telah lena di ribaanya. Dia tersenyum."Letih sangatla ni agaknya".Satu ciuman singgah di dahi si isteri.Selepas perlawanan tamat, dia mendukung tubuh kecil yang sedang lena tidur itu ke bilik mereka. Dr. Irwan memandang wajah Aiza sebelum menarik selimut dan tiba-tiba Aiza bergerak "Emrhhh sayang....." tangan Aiza sedang mencari badannya dan dirangkul kemas,selepas itu dilihatnya Aiza menyambung lenanya kembali.

Deringan jam mengejutkan lena Aiza " sayang, bangun dah pukul 6 dah....." terpisat-pisat dia mencari untuk mematikan deringan jam loceng tersebut.Dia melihat Dr. Irwan masih masih belum terjaga. Dia mendekatkan wajahnya pada wajah suaminya." Wakeup sayang, dah pagi...." bisiknya lembut di telinga suaminya itu.Dia mengusap lembut wajah Dr Irwan, jarinya meniti daripada dahi, hidung, mulut dan bermain-main dengan janggut suaminya itu. Tetiba Dr. Irwan membuka matanya " oohh...main janggut i yer ?" Aiza hanya tersenyum dan memukul-mukul mesra dada Dr Irwan " Oo dah sedar yer buat-buat tak sedar?" Saat dia ingin meneruskan kata-kata dia terasa dahinya dikucup.Bila kucupan itu beralih ke pipinya, bibirnya dia semakin hilang punca.Dan ketika mata kuyu Dr Irwan menatap tajam ke matanya dia sudah memahami " Nak i yer sayang??..........".

Dr Irwan telah lengkap berpakaian dan bersedia untuk ke hospital. Begitu juga Aiza.Mereka akan bergerak mengikut haluan masing-masing. Namun sebelum itu Aiza sempat bersalam dengan suaminya. Dr Irwan berkata lembut " sayang, today my turn kat sana..hmmmm" satu keluhan juga dilepaskan.
" I know it sayang, you dont have to mention it each time k"
"Promise me, call me and inform me if anything, see you in 3 days.Please take care of yourself and makan ubat k??"
Aiza hanya mengangguk sebelum berpaling menuju ke keretanya." Assalamualaikum". Dr.Irwan menjawab salam itu dan melihat kereta Aiza bergerak pergi. Seolah-olah separuh hatinya juga telah dibawa pergi bersama.

why is it so hard to forgive????????

2009-10-09T11:03:00.003+08:00

Mistakes are easy to forgive. We all make them, we all make mistakes. There is a difference between a simple mistake and an action deliberately calculated to cause disruption, harm, deceit or betrayal. Stealing from your best friend, for example, is not a mistake - the person intended to do it. I think it's these types of actions that are harder to forgive.

To forgive someone who intended to do wrong usually takes a while, because you have to accept that the person took advantage of you or humiliated you deliberately. You feel that YOU somehow did something wrong by letting this person get over on you, or that you were foolish for trusting them. That,for the first time, to me, is what's so hard about forgiving.

Andai itu takdirnya......

2009-10-09T10:20:00.006+08:00

Hidup ini penuh dengan kenangan.................yang mendewasakannya ialah pengalaman, yang mematangkannya ialah cabaran. Pahit manisnya sukar untuk dikenang namun .. sayang sekali untuk dibuang. Dimiliki....disayangi..... menjadikan hidup itu suatu yang cukup bermakna dan indah. Walaupun begitu selama manakah, kita mampu memiliki keindahan itu?...Adakah memang sifat semua yang indah hanya sementara? Tiada yang kekal?

Sesekali diri akan diuji, sesekali cabaran menguasai diri, sesekali kesedihan dan kepahitan terpalit dalam diri,sesekali diri kecundang di tangga harapan....haruskah terus membina harapan?
Kenapa diri ini tidak dihargai? Kenapa diri ini harus dilukai.....benarkah mereka menyayangi atau hanyalah sekadar sebuah lakonan di layar kehidupan ini?...
Satu nostalgia tidak akan pernah padam, terpateri di lubuk hati sehingga ajal menjemput diri. Namun diri tetap mengakui, tiada kehidupan tanpa dugaan yang berlalu harus dijadikan kenangan dan sebuah pengajaran yang akan mendewasakan. Apapun pahitnya harus ditelan..........dan terus berusaha membina harapan.Semangat dan kekuatan tidak akan terus padam, Insyallah....

Why do lovers lie?

2009-10-08T12:43:00.003+08:00

Why do husbands, wives, boyfriends and girlfriends lie to each other?
It's not pleasant to think about being betrayed by someone you love. No one likes to think that a husband or wife may be lying, especially not in their own relationship.And it's probably safe to assume that everyone wants a close, romantic relationship that is built on openness, intimacy and trust. But despite our best intentions, our close relationships do not always work that way. Often, our romantic relationships involve some secrecy and deception. So, why do people lie to those they love?

Our intimate relationships are designed to help us get ahead in life. People, who are lucky enough fall in love, come out ahead in terms of their health, wealth, and emotional well-being.

Individuals in close relationships live longer, enjoy better health, obtain more resources, report being happier, and are more satisfied than individuals who fail to find a companion.This is proved by Berkman and Syme, Sarason and Sarason from their reasearch (2005).

In order to obtain the benefits that intimate relationships provide, it is necessary for two people to know each other well. It is not possible to create beneficial outcomes in a relationship without some degree of intimacy (knowledge about each other). Romantic partners need to be “experts” on each other .To create rewards people need to understand their partners “inside and outside".

People gain such knowledge about their partners by spending a lot of time with them, watching how they react in different situations, and by being honest with each other.

People disclose a lot to their spouses. Intimate partners tell each other who they are, what they like and dislike, their hopes and fears, their past experiences, and their future goals. Sharing such knowledge is critical because without it people would not be able to get ahead in life.

Our desire to have a husband or wife understand "who we are" and "where we are coming from" is driven by our emotions. The same with soulmates,we have a fundamental need to be understood, to have someone know us, get us, and understand us And, these feelings drive us to tell our intimate partners the truth.

Our desire to be understood becomes even more intense as we get closer to each other. The more you tie your fate to someone, the more important it is for that person to understand who you are. There is an important benefit to having someone close to you "know you." The rewards you are able to create in your relationship are tied to being intimate and sharing yourself with a partner.

This explains why we get so frustrated and upset when we think that someone close to us does not understand us. Try it out. If you really want to upset a romantic partner, one of the best ways is to pretend that you don’t get where he or she is coming from, that you don’t understand his or her point of view, that you don’t know what he or she is talking about, or that you don’t get his or her jokes. People go absolutely crazy when they think that someone close to them does not "get them."

Overall, enormous benefits come from having a close relational partner know who you are. Accordingly, telling the truth is essential. Simply put, we are designed to share our lives with people and be honest with them.

Its all about life..........

2009-10-08T12:19:00.004+08:00

Sometimes we think that we own the world. It's so familiar, it's so predictable. But you can't own the world even my world is totally different from yours. Maybe you can own your world but sometimes even our own world seems out of hand.

I mean, today could be the saddest day of my life but who knows it could be the happiest day of someone else who just had the same experience as me. Be it a walk in the park or receiving a text message.

I hate changes. It makes me feel not in control. Changes are sometimes a problem. Say, hmm.. If you lost someone or if a family splits things can never be the same again. The world that was so familiar before are now different. How your routine life will change. If before there are five people in the family and now there are four. Its sounds like a no big different but actually its a tremendous lost. At these times we'll only realize those small parts that one particular person did to our life. Okay, maybe losing someone is too big of a change. But let's say we go to class or office everyday with a car, the trip was routine and almost forgettable. but if suddenly on one fine day one of the tires punctured - that would be a problem and we have to deal with it.

Changes remind us that we are not always in control with our life.We cant be the driver all the time, they will while we seat at the back being the passenger,hmmmm......... While some other time one silly mistakes can change your entire life forever....hmmm....fate is fate what else to do, be strong and continue the journey of your life.

HATI SEORANG WANITA ...

2009-10-07T07:23:00.004+08:00

Izinkan aku mulakan posting kali ini dengan mengutip sebuah anekdot yang aku telah dapat daripada sebuah majlis yang pernah aku sertai suatu ketika dahulu, mungkin ada anantara kalian pernah terbaca atau mendengar cerita ini.

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Suatu malam, seorang pemuda sedang berjalan menyusuri sebuah pantai dan bertemu dengan lampu tua yang terletak di atas sebuah batu karang.Dia mengambilnya dan kerana melihatkan lampu itu kotor lalu ia menggosoknya. Tiba-tiba muncullah seorang jin. Jin itu berkata " Ini sudah kali keempat hari ini manysia mengangguku,aku begitu marah sampai aku hanya akan memberi kamu satu permintaan sahaja. Satu bukan tiga !!!. Katakan apa yang kau inginkan. Cepat, kerana waktuku sangat berharga.!!!!" Lantas pemuda itu pun berfikir dengan cepat, dan dia pun berkata " Aku sering ke luar negara atas tugasanku, tapi aku ada satu masalah,aku gayat dengan terbang tinggi. Boleh tak kau buatkan aku jambatan ke negara itu supaya aku boleh memandu ke sana" Jin itu tertawa " Jambatan ke negeri sebelah? Kau bergurau ke apa? Bagaimana mungkin aku binakan kamu jambatan merentasi samudera.Fikirkan permintaan lain!" Dengan perasaan kecewa,pemuda itu terus berusaha keras untuk berfikir apa yang diinginkannya. Akhirnya dia berkata " Aku ada satu permintaan, semua wanita dalam hidupku berkata aku tidak peka. Aku berusaha dan berusaha tetapi tidak pernah berhasil. Aku tidak tahu di mana silapku, begitu sukar untuk diriku memahami HATI SEORANG WANITA.Permintaanku ialah

Untuk memahami wanita....
Mengetahui bagaimana perasaan mereka....
Ketika mereka membisu padaku.....
Mengetahui ketika mereka menangis...
Mengetahuui apa yang mereka inginkan ketika mereka tidak memberitahu aku apa sebenarnya yang mereka inginkan.....
Aku juga ingin tahu apa yang membuat mereka benar bahagia....."

Suasana sunyi sejenak dan jin itu berkata " Kau mahu jambatan itu berjalur dua atau empat???"

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Sekilas pandang, tentu mereka terutamanya pemuda-pemuda di luar sana akan tersenyum apabila membaca kisah ini, namun inilah hakikat, realiti di mana kompleksnya perasaan, keinginan dan hati seorang manusia bergelar wanita. Terlalu dalam untuk diselami, terlalu jauh untuk dicapai dan terlalu lebar untuk dirangkul.
Wanita menggunakan emosi dan perasaan apabila melihat sesuatu yang berlaku di sekelilingnya. Sedangkan seorang lelaki melihat semua itu dengan akal dan logik sehingga kelihatan dirinya berfikir secara praktis dan realistik. Sehinggakan kadang-kadang perbezaan inilah yang menjadi halangan seorang lelaki untuk memahami seorang wanita.
Wanita boleh ditakluk tapi pasti ada satu sisi hatinya yang tidak akan pernah ditaklukkkan. Hati wanita ada satu jendela dan jendela itu mungkin terkunci rapat bahkan untuk orang yang paling dicintainya. ....Segalanya disimpan dalam hatinya...itulah hati seorang wanita.

My Dark Nite... A long journey to peace....or Hell??

2009-10-05T13:07:00.003+08:00

It has been a whirlwind week. Travels reminded me of what I have left behind and what I am walking towards. I find myself, walking, searching where should I go?.. ... though I thought I would not find my way back because the surroundings look so similar de same like I'm just being at the same place I had expected to find myself again.

This year has been a loooonnnng and hard year... perhaps the hardest of them all though the easiest to endure as the pain this time serves a purpose. It has been a very necessary and good year of growth. Twice in this last year I have left this place and each time I found myself tripping all over my old insecurities... suffering from a terrible lack of confidence that I am and will continue to be this new person that I am in the midst of becoming. I wanted so badly to prove that I was differen,.. that I have changed and moved on... that I found myself tripping all over myself trying to figure out how to act. I want to go home and know why it was so important for me to have the approval of all the people that I had spent years rebelling against.Why they dont understand me? They spent a lot of their time with me, but till now no one can truly understand who i am, whats in my mind, hmmmmm...... Even worst, I feel insecurity, despair, judgement, self-condemnation, a failure.That long jounrey continues with lots of my life flashbacks. That the emotions were being felt presently though not from the present. I was grieving. I thought I might want to die. I was so afraid that maybe none of them need me, I'm useless and meaningless to anyone. That maybe I would wake up and be that person again and the person who is lost in love and life.

After a few days of confusing aggression, anxiety, fear and many tears I keep walking and searching, the feelings did pass... though I believed they were stuck there forever. I had literally been waking up every night in a sweat of fear that I was back to the same old me. It was horrifying. But it did pass. And wounds born years ago finally healed.

But this trip was different. This trip forced me to face the loneliness that I was beginning to convince myself as being unbearable. I was becoming afraid of it... afraid that it had become a permanent fixture in my life. Loneliness, if not assessed correctly, can be equated to insufficiency, to being unlovable, unwanted, and so broken beyond repair. Loneliness, if one gets lost in it, is despair. It is easy to believe when one is alone, that one will always be alone and therefore that something is very very wrong with yourself. In this case, me. The thing is, I've known all along, and still know, that I am where I am supposed to be. Deep down inside my heart, I have to return back.But how? Why I heard the voice calling my name but I can't find them.....

I instantly realized how hard I have been fighting this dark night. My dark season. Frantically calling my families, my sisters, my brother, and my loves every five minutes for reassurance that I am ok, but no one answer me. At last I heard one familiar voice asking forgiveness from me, and then followed by another voice, thousands of voices took place all around me, and suddenly I saw one shining tunnel..I walked to that place slowly, at the same the face of people I loved and care appear in my mind

I am ready... finally. I am ready to face the world again.....but this time I dont want anymore tears, please everyone please keep my smile forever....I dont want to cry and feel sad anymore...no more, not again...

The Healing....

2009-10-05T09:07:00.003+08:00

In talking about healing, we need to address the obvious question - what has wounded us in the first place? Every human being has emotional damage from childhood, disillusionment from relationships and the inescapable pain of being here on the planet in a physical form which belies our spiritual reality. In other words, just being born and living involves a loss of innocence and an adjustment of expectations.

The best form of emotional healing comes through forgiveness, whether in spirit or in fact. Whatever has been done to us or not done for us, letting go is a powerful weapon in the fight against bitterness, anger and cynicism. Acceptance is where it all begins - acceptance of our own imperfections and therefore others'; letting go of judgment, stereotyping and prejudices; allowing ourselves to be who we truly are. We are empowered by surrendering the easy option of hating and lusting for revenge. Whether we feel wounded by our own personal history or by world events, especially in recent times, we need to find a peaceful sanctuary in the confines of our own hearts in order for any healing to take place.

Recognizing that emotion is simply energy is also very liberating. Society teaches us that some emotions are desirable, like love, joy and caring; whilst others are unpalatable, like jealousy, fear and sadness. By dividing our feelings into "good" and "bad", we split the very essence of our deepest selves. It's like rejecting parts we don't like and treating them as shameful instead of embracing ourselves wholly in a celebration of humanness.

Some experts say that all emotions can be classified under the two broad umbrellas of love and fear. This actually means love and the lack of love. This is a distinction I can accept. Once we accept all of our feelings as good and heal ourselves through love, when we love ourselves and others unconditionally and spiritually, there can be no fear present. Love and fear cannot live together in the human heart. We become emotionally healthy only when we accept our shadow-selves as much as our positive side, letting them exist side by side, without judgment or self-censure. In time, fear and other "negative" emotions will be diminished. By acceptance, we take away power from the dark parts of ourselves that we're most afraid of. Emotional feeling can cause death and sometime can give us life.

Where the wounding is very deep and has been covered over by lack of awareness and layers of denial and avoidance. Once recognition of these defense mechanisms occurs, healing can take place. It might still be a long and painful road, but it has begun. Once a person walks in for counseling, for instance, they have already moved out of denial and into the beginnings of self-acceptance which includes failings, weaknesses and outdated beliefs. When we can say without fear, "I don't have any answers," we are on our way to the recovery of that precious loss (our true selves).

The only requirement is a desire to do it, then a "how-to" and then a follow-through. It sounds simple but it could take a long time to unravel the mysteries of the past and heal the pain of our experiences. Those who choose to go all the way will find, at the end of the journey, the joy of a life lived in completeness, where true freedom is ever-present and fear is a distant memory.

Disease is as much a product of the mind as the body, therefore, we must seek the origins of our sickness in our attitudes, beliefs and past experiences. If we are not physically healthy, we can often seek healing in these places. The mind is incredibly powerful and sometimes, getting well is as much a matter of will-power as it is of treatment.Sometimes, just a modest adjustment can make a huge difference.

Managing stress is essential as too much stress can kill. If you don't die from it, your quality of life will be nevertheless significantly reduced. Everyone has stress, only the degree varies, and how it's handled. It's not a 21st century invention but the complexity and insecurity of life in modern times is a heavy contributor to the increase in stress levels and stress-related illness. So, a cautionary concern for well being is vital - not addiction to exercise or paranoid obsession with fitness but an overall caring for one's physical heath.

To heal yourself is not to "fix" yourself, as you are perfectly perfect and need no repairs. When you accept yourself in all your variety, polarities and wonderful imperfection, healing will come easily and as surely as the day follows the night. As for me, theres one time they said I'm dying, I'm not hoping so much but the truth is emotion, love, feeling, physical attachment, spiritual and not to forget DOA from them save me and make me alive till now. Thank you for those who responsible for this. I love you guys forever.

Andai semalam milikku 3

2009-09-28T23:03:00.004+08:00

"Hows my sayang today?" soal Dr. Irwan, tangannya makin kemas memeluk pinggang si isteri, terasa rindunya terubat bila menatap wajah perempuan di hadapannya.
"I'm ok cuma penat la sayang, the whole day sampling. I tanya kan kenapa tidor kat sini, nanti sakit tengkuk la, sakit badan la"
"Alaa..isteri I ni kan ada, kalau sakit ke lenguh ke dia boleh urutkan betul x?" jawabnya selamba sambil mencuit dagu Aiza.Dr. Iwan berpusing dan cuba mengubah posisi baringannya supaya lebih selesa sementara Aiza masih lagi duduk berteleku di atas dada si suami.
" You dah solat ker ni sayang?"
" Belum lagi, tadi sampai-sampai penat sangat terus tertido kat sini"
" Ok kalau macam tu, pergila mandi then solat k.Jom..." Aiza menarik tangan tapi Dr. Irwan masih bermalas-malasan di sofa. " Jomla sayang, mandi" rengek Aiza lagi.
" I lapar la sayang" Dr. Irwan membalas rengekan isterinya dengan menggosok-gosok perutnya menandakan dia lapar." Serius, I lapar betul ni sayang"
" Lapar pun nanti la kita keluar makan, now mandi la dulu, cuba la cium bau tu, hapak hangit masam semua ada, jomlaa..." tangan si suami diheret menuju ke kamar mereka.Seperti kebiasaan mereka akan mandi bersama, sunat hukumnya pasangan suami isteri mandi bersama di samping dapat mengeratkan kemesraan dan kasih sayang.

Selepas mandi Dr. Irwan bersiap sedia untuk menunaikan kewajipan kepada Ilahi. Namun sebelum itu dia sempat berpesan kepada Aiza " Sayang, you masak la I dah malas la nak keluar"
Aiza yang telah sembahyang sebelum tiba di rumah mengerutkan kening bila mendengar permintaan suaminya itu.Biasanya Dr. Irwan suka makan di luar dengan alasan bila masak dah penat dan selera pun hilang bila nak makan. " Tapi sayang, tak ada barang nak masak apa?"
" Alaa....masak la apapun sayang maggi pun boleh ok?" Aiza hanya diam tanda setuju apabila melihat Dr. Irwan telah menghampar sejadah untuk solat.

" Eishh time aku penat-penat ni la dia suruh masak, time lain selalu komplen jer, ni nak masak apa satu benda pun tak ada hmmm...." rungut Aiza sendirian sambil terhendap-hendap di pintu fridge melihat sesuatu untuk dimasak buat suaminya. Hanya tinggal telur sahaja itupun dua biji sahaja, " nak masak apa ni?" soal hatinya. Lantas dia membuka kabinet dapurnya dan mencari bungkusan mee segera, " Huh nasib baik ada Meggi, makan meggi ni dah la sayang yer" hatinya berkata lagi.

Kurang daripada 15 min kemudian, Aiza telah siap memasak meggi dan menyediakan lemon tea kegemaran suaminya.Sedang dia mengacau air tersebut, satu ciuman singgah di bahunya yang terdedah dan dia bersuara " Aiyoo terkejut i, apala you ni". Dr Irwan hanya tersengih dan seperti biasa apabila bersama isterinya itu, tangannya tidak akan lepas daripada memeluk dan membelai mesra. " You masak apa sayang?"
" 2 minutes me, ok la kan? Fridge kosong la sayang, tak ada apa" jawab Aiza.
" I tak kisah, janji dapat alas perut.Ada football game la sayang, makan kat depan la ek" gesa Dr. Irwan.
" You bawaklah maggi tu, I bawak air ni"

Mereka berdua duduk di ruang rehat mereka, " Sayang, serunding tak ada ker?" soal Dr. Irwan pada isterinya.Memang kegemarannya add-on serunding bila makan mee segera itu bagi menambahkan lagi rasanya.
" Ada kot, you pergi ambiklah, i dah duduk dah sayang, you berdiri lagi, hehe" jawab Aiza selamba. " Sayang bring me the chopstick too".Beberapa minit kemudian Dr. Irwan kembali semula " Ala sayang game start lambat lagi lah, kita makan la dulu" katanya apabila menekan channel pilhannya belum menyiarkan siaran langsung perlawanan tersebut. Aiza menyambar remote daripada tangan Dr. Irwan dan menukar ke channel HBO " tengok movie lagi bagus la'
Dr Irwan tidak membalas usikan Aiza kerana telah mula menjamu seleranya.
" Eh, hello...amboi makan sorang yer, i pun nak la sayang"
Dr. Irwan menyuakan meggi itu ke mulut Aiza, " Memang tak reti yer nak makan sendiri?"
" Siapa suruh you manjakan I" jawab Aiza, suaranya tenggelam timbul kerana mulutnya penuh dengan mee maggi yang disuap oleh Dr. Irwan.
"Kenapa malam ni tak nak makan kat luar?"
" You kan baru balik, mesti penat kan...."
" Yer ker ni?"
" Tak percaya? I kan memang suami yang prihatin dan bertimbang rasa...kan?"
Aiza membuat muka tidak percaya.
" Haha, toksahla buat muka toyer camtu sayang, tak selera i tengok eh"
"Ohh tak selera yer.....takpelah tak mintak pun suruh you selera, ingat i makanan ke apa?" balas Aiza.
" Sebenarnya, i rindu sangat kat isteri i ni, kalau makan kat luar mana boleh makan macam ni, betul tak sayang??" akhirnya Dr. Irwan memberi penjelasan yang membuatkan Aiza tersenyum.

Does my ex still love me?

2009-09-27T20:51:00.003+08:00

This may seem like a straight forward kind of question, "Does my ex still love me? Can i ask them?", but it confuses people a lot. Why does it confuse them? Because we really want to know the answer to this question, and we don't want to wait for it, but we know deep down that asking for this kind of information isn't going to work. If you just come out and ask you ex if they still love you, they are going to know that you still love them, and no matter their feelings for you at that time they are going to grow distant from you......How about you guys? Do you still love your ex gf of bf? How much?

Why they don't want you to know they still love you

There are a lot of clear reasons why an ex will hide their true feelings and affection from you. Some include:

1. If they broke up with you, they are embarrassed about having made a mistake.

2. They feel guilty about dumping you.

3. They might be waiting for signs from you that you are still interested.

4. You are already dating someone else.

5. They may have already made a big deal about how great life is without you and would be too embarrassed to tell you they love you still.

6. They are nervous as to how you will react to their feelings.

7. If you are both still friends, they are worried they will put the friendship in danger by revealing how they feel.

8. They think you have moved on and wish to respect your decision.

That's a lot of potentially confusing and embarrassing things for your ex to be feeling, isn't it obvious now why they might be keeping these emotions inside? But the good thing is, is that no matter how they feel, you will still be able to tell how much love they have for you.

What happen if one day all your ex'ss come back to you and after a long period you realize that he or she still love you more than anyone else?

Vilains are vilains

2009-09-25T22:16:00.002+08:00

I wonder does our childhood shape who we are today. I mean, we have seen all these in the movies and TV series. A child with a horrible childhood usually turned out to be the bad guy. You know, we have Sylar from Heroes or Voldemort from Harry Potter. They always give reasons why the villains are villains. My childhood wasn't all that great. Maybe it does shaped who am I today. A little. Back then, when we have problems at home I always pretend nothing happened, I'll just go to school and act that everything is fine even though horrible things happened just before I go to school. But then, at that time I was little and I can ignore them because there's nothing else I can do. Just hope and pray it will solve itself. And to me it does solve itself, but you just have to bear with it. However. I got carried away. The way I face problems today never changed. Ignoring and hoping always the way to go. I don't know. Maybe it does shape you. It taught you how the way you see things. The way you think because when you were a child everything is a first. Maybe because of repeated exposure. You know, just like Pavlov's dog theory. Maybe it all accounts as experiences. The way a rich kid act can be different from a poor kid just because their perceptions towards the same situation is different. Maybe to some their childhood doesn't really affect who they are today. Or maybe they just don't realize it or maybe the effects wasn't that significant because it doesn't make them villains today. So we think. :D

Cinta Siti Khatijah...

2009-09-25T00:29:00.002+08:00

Buku Kisah Cinta Sejati Khadijah telah lama kupinjam daripada ibu saudaraku namun baru malam ini aku berjaya menghabiskan pembacaanku. Alhamdulillah, kuharap ianya bisa dicernakan dan melekat di hatiku menjadi pengajaran serta iktibar buat selamanya.

Membaca sirah tentang Khadijah binti Khuwailid Ibnu Asad melahirkan rasa cinta untuk mencontohinya. Mencontohi pengorbanan dan ketabahan seorang wanita pertama yang beriman kepada Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Semoga diriku dan sahabat-sahabat juga berusaha menjadi sepertinya.

Khadijah merupakan wanita yang dihormati dan punya perdagangan sendiri memilih Muhammad bin Abdullah sebagai suami kerana kecantikan akhlak dan budi pekerti dan bukan atas dasar harta mahupun keturunan bangsawan.

Khadijah menjadi pendamai rumah tangga Rasulullah. Menjadi isteri penyejuk mata dan pententeram jiwa. Tatkala Rasulullah gementar ketakutan setelah menerima wahyu pertama di Gua Hira', Khadijahlah orang yang sedaya upaya mententeramkannya. Cuba menghilangkan ketakutan dan resah gelisah suami yang tercinta.

Khadijah, seorang isteri yang menghormati keputusan Rasulullah. Biarpun usia baginda lebih muda dari Khadijah, tidak ada halangan bagi Khadijah untuk mentaati dan menghormati keputusan suami. Khadijah tidak memandang remeh setiap keputusan yang dibuat oleh Rasulullah kerana kepercayaan yang telah dibina untuk nakhoda bahtera rumah tangganya.

Sebelum wahyu diturunkan, 2 puteri Khadijah, Ruqayyah dan Ummu Kulthum dipinang oleh Abu Lahab untuk puteranya, Utbah dan Utaibah. Biarpun kedua mereka dikenali dengan budi pekerti mulia, Khadijah masih ragu-ragu dan curiga atas rombongan peminangan disebabkan oleh sifat Ummu Jamil, isteri Abu Lahab yang kurang disenangi. Namun, Khadijah tidak menyuarakan kebimbangannya pada Rasulullah. Dia mengimbangi pertimbangan emosi diri, menyerahkan keputusan kepada suami dan yakin kepada Tuhan yang Melindungi.

Khadijah, seorang ibu yang berjaya mendidik anak-anaknya untuk menjadi insan berguna, taat pada ibu bapa dan agama. Rumah tangga Khadijah dan Rasulullah benar-benar berkemudi bahagia.

Tika dakwah Rasulullah semakin mendapat tentangan, Khadijah tetap sedia menemani. Memberi kata-kata semangat kepada suami. Khadijah yang terkenal dengan sifat pemurah, mengorbankan hartanya untuk Islam, membantu dakwah suaminya agar umat manusia kembali kepada mengesakan Allah dan kesejahteraan alam.

Diri ini sendiri sangat mengaguminya. Mengagumi pengorbanan, keyakinan, penghormatan yang diberikan kepada suami serta sifat-sifat mulia yang dimilikinya. Khadijah, seorang wanita mulia dimana Allah juga membangunkan sebuah rumah yang indah untuknya di syurga.

Khadijah, contoh ikutan isteri solehah. Isteri yang paling dicintai Nabi Muhammad s.a.w hingga ke akhir hayat baginda selalu menyebut-nyebut namanya. Sehingga baginda sendiri pernah bersabda:

"...Demi Allah, aku tidak pernah mendapat pengganti yang lebih baik daripada Khadijah. Dia yang beriman kepadaku ketika semua orang ingkar. Dia mempercayaiku ketika semua orang mendustakanku. Dia yang memberiku harta pada saat semua orang enggan memberi. Dan darinya aku memperoleh keturunan- sesuatu yang tidak kuperoleh dari isteri-isteriku yang lain."
(H.R. Ahmad)

Ya Allah, jika dia benar untukku, dekatkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku. Jika dia bukan milikku, damaikanlah hatiku dengan ketentuan-Mu

Kisah Raya

2009-09-22T23:00:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah syawal tiba lagi selepas sebulan kita mengerjakan ibadah puasa....jika dilihat betapa gembiranya mereka, sibuk dengan persiapan raya, 7 malam terakhir sibuk dengan persiapan menjelang hari raya, buat kueh, shopping tu shopping ni dan macam2 lagi tapi sebenarnya mereka leka dan alpa sepatutnya di samping kegembiraan menanti hari lebaran mereka harus turut bersedih kerana ingin meninggalkan bulan yang dilimpahai keberkatan ..Ramadhan....mungkin masyarakat kita ni telah tersalah konsep agaknya.Memang tak salah merayakan kemenangan kita setelah sebulan berpuasa tapi biarlah berpada-pada.
Sambutan Aidilfitri tahun ini bagi aku lebih bermakna, setelah bertahun-tahun lebaran tanpa makna but this year alhamdulillah, sekuarang-kurangnya aku gembira bersama adik beradikku. Air dicincang tak akan putus.Walaupun hidup tak pernah lari daripada masalah tetapi sekurang-kurangnya memori kali ini mampu membuat diriku tersenyum..Terima kasih Ya Allah.

Aramakkk....

2009-09-21T11:03:00.002+08:00

Alahmak.. aisehman.. whatever else words that can describe how regret I am for my stupid previous mistake that I've done before in my life. In addition I want to apologize for my writing here if its wrong or touching anybody outside.

As u guys were hoping, it was such a joke and I didn't mean it at all. U know me lah, sometimes i spiced up my writings, to make it fun to read.

I wasn't writing it in anger or anything. I laughed all the way when I wrote those things.

Yeah it sounds real so that you guys will think that it's real and if u think it's real, i think i managed to get you people deep into my writings.

I have always overlooked in a lot of things that I'm doing nowadays. Pardon my absent-mindedness. I'm just a human. I myself was/and still is a badass. I've been feeling terrible for mistakes i have done.

With my deep regret, humbly and sorry, .

Selamat Hari Raya, maaf zahir & batin

Selamat Hari Raya AidilFitri

2009-09-20T21:22:00.001+08:00

Get the Selamat Hari Raya code at Myspace Graphics

Epilog 2

2009-09-17T07:38:00.003+08:00

Usai mengerjakan solat Asar, Aiza masih berteleku di sejadah, berdoa penuh khusyuk bersyukur atas apa yang dimilikinya hari ini. Tiba-tiba kedengaran deringan telefon " sayang is calling".Lantas dengan segera Aiza mencapai handbagnya dan menjawab panggilan tersebut.
" Assalamualaikum sayang " suara garau si suami menyapu gegendang telinganya.
Suara itu membuatkan dirinya tersenyum, seolah hilang segala penatnya seharian. " Waalaikumussalam" jawabnya dengan senyuman masih di bibir.
" You kat mane sayang? Dah pukul berapa ni belum sampai rumah?" Dr. Irwan bertanya, suaranya kedengaran sedikir gusar.
" I kat R& R Temerloh ni sayang, berhenti solat kejap"
" Hmm...pukul berapa baru sampai rumah ni? I dah lama balik tau"
" Kan pagi tadi I dah pesan, balik rumah Kak Sal kan, I will be late"

Dr. Irwan masih tidak berpuas hati, kalau boleh dia nak isterinya itu berada di depan matanya sekarang. Entah kenapa dia rasa tidak sedap hati.Masih terngiang-ngiang di telinganya perbualan dengan sahabatnya.
" Hows your life now bro? dah ada dua cawangan pun monyok lagi ker? Haha"
Dia hanya mengeluh dan berkata " Entahlah tak ada beza pun, nama je dua cawangan tapi macam satu jugak pun, Aiza selalu tak ada, aku jarang dapat jumpa dia"
" Haha, pelikla biasa orang banyak dengan pucuk muda kau ni dengan daun tua ajer, kesian-kesian, jangan sampai ketidakadilan berlaku sudahlah, karang lain plak jadiknya, bini ko tu muda lagi, "
"Entahlah susah aku nak cakap, Salina pun pelik sebab aku selalu aje ada kat rumah sane. Aiza selalu keluar pergi situ pergi sini, tapi apa aku boleh buat? dah memang macam tu kerja dia"
" Just be careful Wan, takut nanti kena kebas dengan orang jer bini ko tu, kau tengoklah Aiza tu masih nampak macam anak dara, besides shes too independent, jangan sampai kau hilang dia dah ler"
" No way man!!!.. Shes mine forever, langkah mayat aku dulu la"

Aiza sampai di rumah lebih kurang pukul 1.30 am, dilihat rumahnya gelap gelita. Hatinya berdetik ke mana pulak pergi suaminya. Mungkin dah balik rumah sane kot.Getusya sendirian.
Dia memetik suis lampu segenap ruang dipenuhi cahaya. Dia terkejut apabila melihat sekujur tubuh terbaring di sofa, Dr. Irwan.
Perlahan-lahan dia mendekati tubuh itu, tidak berniat untuk mengejutkan si suami daripada lena. Kedengaran desah nafas lembut. Dia mencium dahi si suami " I'm so sorry sayang"
Tangannya mengusap lembut wajah lelaki itu. Tiba-tiba dia merasakan ada tangan melingkari pinggangnya, memeluk lembut.
" You baru sampai sayang?"suara Dr. Irwan serak-serak
" Kenapa tidor kat sini?" Aiza membalas dengan pertanyaan.Dr. Irwan hanya tersenyum.

Trouble is a friend

2009-09-15T00:28:00.002+08:00

Know what? One of the most common issues I get from people is that they feel troubled and sad all the time and find it hard to stay happy because their life is full of problems. Every time a problem is solved, another one seems to appear! It seems like it is NEVER-ENDING!

What problems are they? Those problems could be money problems, family issues, work problems, health problems and relationship problems. They usually think that people who are glad and successful in life are people with lesser problems than they have. They think that successful people have all the wealth they want, the career that they love, a business that is successful, family that understands etc.

You would be surprised when in fact; many of my problems faced by highly successful people are so big that you would be killed by the stress if you were them!

* No man on earth have no problems in life!

* Meeting with thousands of people in my life, rich and poor, young and old, successful and not-successful ones, I discovered that everyone has problems. It's just that all of our problems are unique. The only people with no problems are those people that have no breath already! I have come to realize that successful people face more and major problems that anyone else! The more successful you are, the greater your problems. Barack Obama may sure look happy winning the elections to become the new US president, but do you know that by winning the elections, it is only the beginning of his responsibilities? He has much greater problems that you and me. If life is going to be forever filled with problems, how can we ever stay content and satisfied with life? The answer I have found is to deal with our problems happily! Don't take life so seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself and your problems and enjoy the journey. Problems can either BENEFIT us or DESTROY us.

* So WHY is life full of problems? Why can't everything go exactly the way we want? I believe that problems are there to make us learn and mould ourselves. Every time a problem arises, it is a signal that we need to improve ourselves and change our thinking and behaviors. For example, if you are having a quarrel with your spouse, it is a signal that YOU need to change the way you communicate and behave in the relationship (no matter whose fault it may seem to be).

It is from this experience, and the set-back, you decide to evaluate yourself as a husband/wife and choose to take some positive actions like appreciating your partner more, spending more time with them, listening with your heart, showing more love, forgiving, communicating with honesty, you would solve the problem and end up a BETTER PERSON as result. You would have grown. Let's take another illustration, you have money problems. It is again a signal that you need to improve the way your finances. So, you start reading financial management books, reducing monthly expenses; learn to invest properly in stock markets etc...Again, you would have grown into a BETTER PERSON as a result.

So, problems are designed to make us grow into stronger people. Only when we have matured, will life allow us to graduate to the next level of success, i.e. becoming a millionaire or having passionate love in our relationship. However, I would like to point out this as well. When some people are having money problems, they simply ignore it, letting their bills pile up and sinking into huge financial debts. So, what happens when you ignore your problems? Well, they keep coming back, even bigger than before.

Lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik?

2009-09-14T23:41:00.003+08:00

Adakah selalunya perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki yang baik??dan lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik?pernahkah dalam hidup kita ni(dalam relationship) kita merasakan pasangan jauh kita lebih baik atau jauh lebih buruk?

Firman Allah dalam Surah An-Nuur(24) ayat 26:

“Wanita-wanita yang keji adalah untuk laki-laki yang keji, dan laki-laki yang keji adalah buat wanita-wanita yang keji (pula), dan wanita-wanita yang baik adalah untuk laki-laki yang baik dan laki-laki yang baik adalah untuk wanita-wanita yang baik (pula).”

Maksud “baik” dalam ayat di atas merujukan kepada sifat secara keseluruhan yang menonjol pada diri seseorang seperti kejujuran, kesopanan, kerajinan, banyak melakukan amal shalih dan sebagainya. Namun sebagai manusia, di celah-celah kebaikan yang banyak menonjol akan tetap ada kekurangan. Maka kekurangan dan kelemahan ini tidak membatalkan kebaikan mereka yang banyak, sebaliknya menjadi cabaran untuk memperbaiki dirinyaMerujuk kepada kehidupan sebagai pasangan suami-isteri, maka hendaklah setiap individu memilih bakal pasangannya yang baik. Akan tetapi di sebalik kebaikan itu tentu wujud satu dua kekurangan dan ini bukanlah sesuatu yang berbeza lagi menyelisihi ayat 26 surah al-Nur di atas. Sebaliknya ia menjadi cabaran kepada setiap pasangan untuk saling memohon maaf, memaafkan dan berusaha untuk memperbaiki kekurangan itu secara bersama.Ini adalah janji Allah....lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik. Persoalannya sekarang bagaimana harus kita menilai kebaikan yang dimaksudkan di sebalik firman ini.? Kadang-kadang kita tertanya kenapa ada jugak lelaki yang jahat tetapi dapat isteri yang sangat baik ataupun lelaki yang baik giler tapi perangai isteri .. ya allah !! tak dapat nak bayangkan. Apa yang ingin disampaikan ialah bukan bergantung pada pandangan mata sahaja sebaliknya kita harus muhasabah diri dan menilai setiap aspek dalam kehidupan kita, bukan sahaja berfokuskan tingkah laku dan perangai semasa sahaja. Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Adil, pasti ada sebab dan hikmah di sebalik ketentuanNYA. Jangan persalahkan diri pasangan anda kita sepenuhnya atas segala keburukan yang dilakukan, seeloknya kita harus muhasabah diri, mencari punca di mana mungkin diri kita sendiri mempunyai kelemahan, melakukan kesilapan dan juga mempunyai kekurangan.

Sebagai contoh cuba kita fikirkan bagaimana seorang perempuan yang solehah, begitu naif dapat berkahwin dengan seorang lelaki pengedar dadah dan hidup bergelumang maksiat? Mungkin pada pandangan mata kasar kita, mereka tidak sepadan., kenapa begitu? sedangkan ungkapan " lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik" tetapi sebenarnya apa yang harus kita pertimbangkan pula kekurangan dan kelemahan diri si perempuan itu, mungkin si lelaki seorang yang melakukan jenayah namun mungkin dia mempunyai kebaikan yang lain dalam dirinya.So, moral of the story dont simply just people and assume that we are a good person,look at who we are 1st.

" Jangan mengharapkan suami sebaik saidina Ali jika diri bukan sebaik saiditina Fatimah"

Can we be in love with more than one person?

2009-09-09T20:39:00.004+08:00

Entertaining the idea of loving two people at the same time is an uncomfortable thought in our monogamous society. Just the thought that the one we love could potentially feel love for someone else can be confusing and frightening. But on a planet with nearly 7 billion people, is it really that hard to believe that we can be in love with two people at the same time? Is love so exclusive and unique that we can experience that feeling with only one person?Hmmm.....better think about it lor....( answer that for me mat cipan)
Although I believe it's possible to love more than one person at the same time, I don't think it happens often and the potential of falling in love with two people at the same time in your lifetime is highly unlikely. But that doesn't discount the fact that it is possible.

What may feel like love is often attraction or infatuation, which is a totally different emotion. All relationships begin with attraction, or chemistry. It's the strong pull to be with someone before we know much about them and it's the precursor to true love.
If an emotional need is not being met by our partner, we may be attracted to a person who has the ability to fill that need - but that's not love. It's a chemical, physical, emotional or hormonal reaction or need. It's that heart-stopping feeling we get when we glimpse an old high school flame across the room. The reality is nothing like the fantasy that plays in our head. Mere attraction is selfish, self-serving and put little thought into the other person's feelings.
On the other hand, true love is an all-encompassing emotion and results in a desire to commit all of who we are to the relationship - emotional, spiritual and physical. We know its true love when we want more for our partner than we do for ourselves.

How we feel may not be totally under our control but how we respond is. Feeling attracted to more than one person is possible; loving two people, hmmm, i think is not a strange not, it may happen cos love is so universal. So why not? Isnt it?

Who you are??

2009-09-09T12:24:00.001+08:00

Di sebalik ungkapan tak ada apa-apa or tak ada apa...

2009-09-09T05:24:00.006+08:00

Perkataan yang aku pilih untuk kali ni, " tak ada apa, tak ada apa-apa" or " nothing" nampak macam sama jer kan tapi keduanya boleh menyampaikan macam-macam maksud. Hehe..
Biasanya kan bila yang biasa korang gunakan perkataan macam ni atau yang seumpama dengannya?
Kita sering percaya kepada sesuatu itu atas dasar persepsi rekaan yang telah di-set dalam sel otak. Dan persepsi ini pula terbentuk hasil dari pengumpulan pengalaman kita yang lepas, ditambah dengan ilmu pengetahuan yang bersifat saintifik yang diperoleh dari sumber bercetak seperti buku atau elektronik seperti internet. Tapi dalam masa yang sama kita lupa, bahawa realiti itu tak wujud sehingga ianya benar-benar ‘wujud’ – sama ada ‘ada’ ataupun ‘berlaku’. Apa yang telah ‘ada’ atau ‘berlaku’ tadi akan disusuli oleh respon yang mempunyai caj berlawanan, positif atau negatif, baik-buruk, suka-benci, dll. Namun kita kerap tersasar percaya akan konsekuensi terhadap sesuatu kejadian sebelum ianya benar-benar terjadi.So, tak ada apa or tak ada apa-apa merupakan ungkapan respond yang boleh memberi pelbagai impak kepada mereka yang terlibat.
Kenapa agaknya yer suka sangat dengan perkataan ni, mungkin ini cara terbaik untuk menyelamatkan keadaan, diri atau situasi pada ketika itu. Betul tak?? Pengecut betul la..hehe... walau apapun tak kisah la janji korang tahu bila dan bagaimana nak guna tak ada apa or tak ada apa-apa tapi kan...hmm bagi aku la sometime bengang jugak bila nak cakap tapi xnak cakap bila dah cakap tu cakap tak ada apa-apa eii memang la..tapi kan..aku pun selalu buat macam tu so sekarang aku tahu la macam mana rasanya huhu......tak kisah la apapun janji tak ada apa kan??hehe

When you lose someone you love....

2009-09-07T11:34:00.002+08:00

I was talking to my friend a few days ago about his mom. He said she wasn't doing to well, but I said well I will keep praying to the big guy that she gets better soon. A few days had passed and he let me know she had passed. It devastated me. I know where she is there is no more pain or no more suffering, but that doesn't make it any easier when we lose someone we love very much. .Bad's mom was an awesome woman. I remember her as one who always had a smile on her face no matter what. She was always there to make us smile or laugh when things were tough. I know for me I have never experienced losing a mother or a father yet but I lost someone who is very important to me last few years Sometime I don't quite understand that bit of life yet I know that was really hard for me, when losing someone you love where you never will see them 4eva.
Somehow now, I'm thinking what happen to people who love if I'm not here anymore for them? Is it the same feeling that I felt before? hmmm....
I know they all saying losing someone you love is a process. Sometimes people tell you well at least you can be happy they are in a better place. You don't always want to hear that at the time of when that happens. You don't want to feel the guilt that they are gone and you are happy they are in a better place. But in time things do get better but it is always hard losing someone you love. You soon realise where they are there is no more suffering and no more pain. You can start to realise the good times and share them with others to keep there memory alive. I know when my love died, it was hard for me for a while, but then I came to realise also that ALLAH must wanted him there with him for some reason. It does take time to heal from a death, but we must rejoice because in death there is a spirit alive somewhere in heaven watching down on us and making sure we are ok.

Remember me with happiness and laughter cause if you remember me with tears and sorrow it would be best not to remember me at all.

If you truly love someone, will you love them forever??? Or just stop loving them??

2009-09-04T00:10:00.004+08:00

I have always believed that if the love was true, you will love that person forever, regardless of whether you are still together or not. And I believe that if someone say they don't love you anymore, that means that they never loved you to begin with. Love doesn't go away. Do you agree or disagree?

I believe that love (if it's true) will never go away. You will always keep a special place in your heart for the love you had/have with that person, if you're together or not. And this still applies, even when you found another love.

I also believe once you have experienced proper romantic emotion for someone, whether it be true love or a strong crush, a part of you will always have a little flame for them somewhere. When people say I don't love you anymore, I believe it depends on the individual as to whether they really did love you in the first place or not. As I said, when you truly love someone there will always be something there for them- perhaps your ex hasn't realised that little flame is still there. A lot of people tend to ignore it or not realise it.

I feel that 'love' is forever. Whether one is still with that person or not. Sometimes 'love' does not transcend all things. Sometimes we let others interrupt the 'love' we feel for others. Sometimes life gets in the way as well. I agree that love will always be true and at the same time life continues to be unfair at times.I think that if you really liked or loved someone that feeling will never go away. Like lots of people say, there will always be that person that you can never get over. :)You will love them forever, unless they do something really bad - in which case you'd be angry and not love them as much.. but deep down I think you'd still care.Once you have loved someone, I believe you will always have love for them. They always hold a place in your heart.

I'm just sharing my thoughts, true or not asked urself.

I'm Not Perfect

2009-09-03T08:37:00.002+08:00

The beginning of new life is coming... Soon my crazy days are passing.. I still have lots of expectations Yet there's no answers for all the questions But hopefully when the time is right I know just what to do with this unperfect life of mine

Makeup....Cosmetics...etc.....

2009-08-31T23:58:00.006+08:00

Kali ni aku nak cakap pasal makeup...hmmm satu lagi benda yang mungkin tak dapat dipisahkan daripada kaum Hawa kenapa yer?? Ada yang sanggup berhabis semata-mata untuk membeli alat makeup..apa tujuannya untuk kelihatan cantik dan berseri... huhu betul ke tu? Hmmm tapi memang xdapat dinafikan kuasa kosmetik dalam perubahan wajah seseorang, yang tak lawa boleh jadik lawa tapi kalau tak kena gayanya boleh jugak tukar jadik monster hehe.... Aku tidak dikategorikan dalam kelompok2 perempuan ini semua lain la aku ni agaknya...hmmm bukanlah tak suka langsung tapi sangatlah jarang kecuali for special ocassion tupun still look natural..tak taulah tapi memang aku rasa rimas bila tampal semua tu kat muka aku, bila pakai lipstick tu rasa berminyak jera kat bibrir, kalau pakai masca plak kelopak mata aku rasa gatal n berat, pakai eye shadow aku rasa macam opera cina jer huhu tak boleh2 memang tak som la ngan aku...kadang2 bila tengok kawan2 pakai nampak cantik teringin jugak nak pakai tapi bila pakai aku rasa tak selesa..mengikut rekod muka aku ni paling lama berada dalam makeup lebih kurang 5 jam je kot pastu aku basuh la haha...membazir jer so moralnya, xpayah pakai.... Sebenarnya, apa yang menyebabkan aku pilih topik makeup untuk dicoretkan disini kerana semalam, seodrang makcik tu tegur aku, sedara jauh belah mak aku la....dia datang berkunjung sebabkan dah lama tak jumpa walhal aku rasa selama kat sini ari-ari dia datang jumpa kami semua kot...dengan mulut dia ya allah....tak tau la nak cakap, apa yang aku ingat dia cakap " Aloha, kak long ni comey...manis ja..tapi gak bibir tu pucat lesi, co cuba gak calet lecu..bagi merah sikit gak, anok daro gapo ni takdop seri, tengok Ma dio tu, duk jangok, ni dio anok daro dop tepek gapo2 muko,nok jadik gapo eh anak daro lening, tok se jangok sungguh" Huhu...tak sangka betul aku kena tegur macam tu, dah la depan ramai2 orang....kureng betul la.... Sebenarnya diorang taktau yang makeup made from disaster chemicals.. cumulative effects after long term usage..lepas tu kalau korang perasan muka yang selalu pakai makeup ni akan cepat tua daripada biasa n kelihatan kusam jika tanpa makeup...tak caya?? cuba la check sendiri....sebabnya kecantikan yang korang dapat tu bukan dari diri korang tapi dari makeup tu semua,aku bukan nak condemn orang yang bermakeup tu tak salah pun dah memang fitrah kan tapi janganlah keterlaluan sangat. Much better kalau korang boleh amalkan petua-petua lama yang lebih kepada sumber semulajadi, walaupun cerewet dan memakan masa tapi sekurang-kurangnya selamat.

Sains dan teknologi, berubah sekelip mata korang tengokla kereta or handphone everyday ada update, samalah jugak dengan produk kosmetik yang korang gunakan tu, at least every three months they will release new one hmmm...tidak ada teknologi yang dicipta tanpa kelemahan atau keburukan.They are not perfect.Marketing strategy one of the reason cuma yang menjadi pengukur adalah masa.Walau apapun itu hak masing-masinglah nak tentukan apa yang terbaik buat diri korang, janganlah sampai dah muka penuh berjeragat, jerawat pun masih xnak usahakan jugak..bertindak mengikut situasi itu yang terbaik. Dulu masa aku sekolah, satu kes berlaku pada classmate aku, adalah dia gunakan satu produk kecantikan tu, nak cerahkan kulit muka dia...mana tau produk tu menghakis, memang dia putih la sampai muka dah jadik pelik,kulit dia makin nipis sampai satu tahap tu dia tak boleh sentuh muka dia sebab kalau terkena kuku jer berdarah....ngeri n kesian gakla aku tengok dia masa tu hmmm.....

Kecantikan luaran sahaja tidak bermakna tanpa kecantikan dalaman. Kalau kat dalam tu dah cantik automatik je yang luaran akan berseri..Insyallah...

Epilog 1

2009-08-31T05:11:00.003+08:00

" Sayang, you balik rumah sane ek karang" kedengaran satu suara menyapa telinganya yang masih terbaring di katil.Dr. Irwan cuba membuka matanya yang masih berat, sambil menguap beberapa kali " Kenapa plak? I baru sehari kat sini, still my turn here"
"I kena pergi sampling today sayang, dont know what time I'll be home, you balik rumah akak dulu ek ari ni.."
Dr. Irwan melihat jam di dinding, hari masih awal, hmmm..baru pukul 6.30 pagi tetapi dia melihat isterinya sedang bersiap untuk keluar. " Sayang, you nak pergi mana hari ni?"
"Kena pergi wetland la sayang, kena ambil sample few algae kat sana, there are more than 10 check point and we have to take the sample at 4 different time, you xnak bangun lagi ker?" Aiza menjawab pertanyaan suaminya itu dengan satu lagi pertanyaan.
Hanya satu keluhan panjang kedengaran, dia mengahwini isterinya itu semenjak 3 bulan yang lepas, Aiza adalah isteri kedua doktor muda itu. Walaupun usia perkahwinan mereka masih awal tetapi mereka jarang sekali berjumpa, bulan itu sahaja ini baru pertama kali mereka dapat bersua muka. Orang lain mungkin menyangka dia lelaki bertuah kerana memiliki dua orang isteri tanpa sebarang masalah tetapi tidak bagi dirinya. Namun apakan daya itulah syarat yang ditetapkan oleh Aiza sebelum bersetuju untuk mengahwininya. Dia mengenali Aiza seorang penyelidik yang aktif dan sangat komited dengan kerjayanya.Mungkin disebabkan kesibukan itulah Aiza tidak pernah kisah tentang giliran, kalau diikutkan dia sendiri berasa ketidakadilan berlaku dalam giliran isteri-isterinya walhal Aiza sendiri tidak pernah bersungut sedangkan dia isteri yang bongsu. Kadang-kadang Aiza sendiri yang menghantarnya ke rumah isteri tuanya.
" You pergi hospital or klinik today?" tiba-tiba Aiza bersuara. Dia cuba bercakap dengan suaminya itu, sesungguhnya mereka mempunyai ruang masa yang terhad untuk berkomunikasi antara satu sama lain.Tiada jawapan, apa kena plak ni? detik hatinya apabila dia melihat jauh sekali Dr. Irwan termenung di birai katill.
" Sayang, I'll prepare the breakfast, baju you pun i dah iron sume dah....I need to go now, kejap lagi driver I sampai" Aiza berkata lagi sambil mendekati suaminya itu. " Whats wrong with you? Are you okay?"
Dr. Irwan mendongak dan merenung wajah isterinya, betapa dia menyayangi wanita berwajah polos itu. Setiap kali pun dia akan jatuh cinta dengan Aiza, dia takut akan kehilangan wanita yang sangat berdikari itu. Tangannya melingkari pinggang Aiza, " Sayang, stay here with me today, I miss you, pleasee......."
" I'm sorry, tak boleh la kali ni sayang"
" Tapi....."
" You balik rumah sana today k, I dah telefon bagitau Kak Sal tadi, she dont mind"
Dr. Irwan hanya tersenyum sinis, memanglah Salina takkan kisah, mana ada orang bermadu tapi macam tak bermadu pun, boleh dikatakan banyak masanya masih di rumah isteri tuanya itu. " No, not today I'll wait for you here"
" Tapi sayang I tak tau I balik pukul berapa, nanti you bosan, sape nak masak untuk you?" soal isterinya sambil tangannya menguis rambut si suami. Hai suami aku ni, nama jer doktor tapi rambut dah ala-ala mat rock ni.Hehe.
" Tak kisah, I tunggu you, pandai-pandailah you..." dia melepaskan pelukan pada isterinya dan bangun mencapai tuala.
" Tapi sayang....."
" No tapi-tapi, you have to be here before 7pm...thats an order" keras suara suaminya
" Ni apehal plak ni, pagi-pagi dah nak guna kuasa veto?"
" Tak salah kan?"
" You jangan nak mulakan ok?!!"
"Mulakan apa?, I just want you to be here with me today, thats all, ok?? Before 7 no more words"
" Sayang,......." satu keluhan dilepaskaan. Mimpi apelah laki aku malam tadi, selalu tak pulak macam ni. "oklah, I try balik awal k...."

Kedengaran bunyi hon kereta di luar pagar rumah mereka.
"They are here now, I have to go" Aiza mendekati suaminya, menghulurkan tangan untuk bersalam seperti biasa sebelum dia keluar dari rumah.
"Be here, as I said...if not you'll know" Irwan terus bertegas dengan pendiriannya.
Aiza tersenyum, " okay la sayang busuk oi....." cuba mengalah, dia tahu sangat dah apa yang bakal berlaku. Dia berpaling dan mendapatkan begnya.
" Ehemm......hello, forgot something ya??"
Teguran itu mematikan langkah Aiza, " oopps...ingatkan tak mahu tadi" dia mendekati si suami kembali dan satu ciuman singgah di pipi.
"This side" kata Dr. Irwan sambil menyuakan pipinya yang sebelah lagi. Satu lagi ciuman diberikan.
" This one?...and this one?''
Ni dah lebih ni....." I'm late sayang, jumpa petang nanti ok"
Sebelum kelibat si isteri hilang Dr. Irwan sempat berpesan " Call me sayang" dan satu senyuman sebagai balasan.

will be continued....huhu

Pearl......

2009-08-31T05:04:00.003+08:00

ni semua pic2 sepupu aku, anak sepupu dan jugak anak kawan-kawan aku yang lahir pada tahun ni.....

HAPPY MERDEKA TO ALL FELLOW MALAYSIANS!!!

2009-08-31T00:09:00.004+08:00

Why r some people crazy about football??

2009-08-30T13:59:00.003+08:00

How many of u love football?? One of my cousin's complaining "my husband would just sit on the sofa and watch nfl sport all day on weekend. i just don't understand why."

Well, for me I'm not really addicted to this game but I'm not saying I dislike it too. Sometime I watched the game too but if I got a good company huhu... as for me,if you cant understand the fascination of watching world class athletes perform, then you will never know why, and this included football games....Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal, Barcelona, Ac Milan...hmm what else...all the supreme team in this industry.Believe it or not but football is one of the greatest sports to watch....its the excitement factor, the thrill of the game. My ex was like that and it annoyed me too, however I am still a football fan as well but I personally don't have to sit and stare at the tube all day watching it. Most men loves sports and from a woman's perspective, we are not suppose to understand why they do it....they just do.

As for sitting on the sofa all day and watching football/basketball, it is something most men enjoy doing as most of us men have been conditioned to watch sports and it gives us a way to hang out and "bond" without sharing feelings or discussing our issues in a long, drawn out manner.

One of my close fren said this " Men seem to need some sort of war related activity in their lives. We treat sports as a substitute for fighting and war, just listen to the analogies. The coach is regarded as the general, the field is the battleground, the players are the troops. Back in the old days men went to war and hunted and fought. Nowadays we've lost all our primitive and dare i say it, masculine ways. We need sports to make us feel like men again." Guys.....is it true?? huhu..

One of my bad habit if I watch the games, I will support ur enemy..hehe...cos I dont like any specific team ...for example last nite, all of the families, cousins n few frens watch the battle between MU and Arsenal...All of them on the Arsenal side...so...for sure I will be MU fan that time....belasah la....hehe....tapi kena belasahla diorang sume malam tadi kuang3x......sorry ya selamat la duit raya tahun ni huhu....

Out of Ordinary

2009-08-29T09:34:00.003+08:00

Hah..currently, I’m addicted to ‘loveholic’..basically dunno the existence of this series but fortunately, at first time..i changed the channel to KBS world and the series was ‘running’..hehe.. It is just like a ‘fortune cookie’ for me hehe as I was damn boring at that time.. like timon said, ‘no more fortune cookies for u’..ove those words..hehe. at last, I have found smthng 4 my leisure time. Loveholic (2005) is a love story..forbidden love story at first..hehe as it is related to the ethics for being a teacher n student..hmm..quite interesting n impinge on variety of emotions.I've no idea why I'm so intrested in forbidden love , now the novel that I hold in my hand is PRIVATE AFFAIR by Nora Roberts...What a combination? hehe. for me its fascinating. full of excitement and make the person more interesting, its o out of ordinary....Maybe ?!!!

What im trying to stress on is the disease that the teacher has which is called narcolepsy..i never know of this disease at all..suprisingly the patient will fall asleep when he or she is depressed and in stress…witty eh? :-D

Narcolepsy is a neurological condition most characterized by Excessive Daytime Sleepiness (EDS), in which a person falls asleep during the day at inappropriate times, such as at work or school. A narcoleptic will most probably experience disturbed nocturnal sleep, which is often confused with insomnia, and disorder of REM or rapid eye movement sleep. It is one of the dyssomnias. A narcoleptic may also fall asleep at random.
The main characteristic of narcolepsy is excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS), even after adequate night time sleep. A person with narcolepsy is likely to become drowsy or fall asleep, often at inappropriate times and places. Daytime naps may occur without warning and may be physically irresistible. These naps can occur several times a day. They are typically refreshing, but only for a few hours. Drowsiness may persist for prolonged periods of time. In addition, night time sleep may be fragmented with frequent awakenings. Four other "classic" symptoms of narcolepsy, which may not occur in all patients, are cataplexy, sleep paralysis, hypnagogic hallucinations, and automatic behavior.

Hmm…it is exquisite and fascinating story to be watched.How strong your love when you love a sick person with a strange condition??

Apa lagi??***.......

2009-08-28T08:28:00.005+08:00

Dia sampai di kedai itu lewat 10 min dan dilihat kawannya telah sedia menunggu. Dia duduk dan bertanya " Ada apa ni awak nak jumpa saya ni?"
" Yan, saya ada masalah la" Jawab lelaki di hadapannya.
" La...apa pulak masalah awak kali ni?" soal Rian sambil, termenung dia seketika. Di benaknya kini terfikir apa lagi masalah yang dihadapi si Shah kali ni.
"Ada masalah dengan isteri awak lagi?"
"Hmm...tak adalah kalau dia saya boleh handle....?"perlahan dia menjawab.
"La dah tu apa lagi?..anak camana sihat?"Rian menyoal lagi.
" Boleh tak saya nak tanya awak satu perkara?"
" Haaha.....macamla kena bayar kalau tanya, tanya jerlah...." dia tersenyum.Tak habis-habis la kawan aku ni.
" Ermm awak, saya dah jatuh hati kat sorang pompuan tu, tapi masalahnya dia ni sensitif sangat la, mudah kecik hati pulak tu?"Shah mula menyuarakan isi hatinya.
" Hahahaha.........pompuan mana plak ni?" Apa nak jadikla dengan kawannya yang sorang ni, dah kahwin ada anak tapi masih macam perangai macam bujang. Tak pernah serik buat perangai. Kesian plak kat bini dia.Detik hati Rian.
" Adalah pompuan kat sini jugak, camana ek nak pujuk dia?" desak Shah.
" Ya allah awak ni, dah habis ke ayat-ayat buaya awak tu sampai kena tanya saya?" soal Rian disusuli tawa yang berderai.
" Alah Yan, awak ni jangan la gelakkan saya.....dia merajuk pasal benda kecik jer, tapi memang jenis payah nak pujuk la dah tak tahu nak ayat apa lagi" tambahnya lagi.
Rian cuma menggeleng-gelengkan kepalanya.Tidak tahu apa yang terbaik harus dikatakan. Shah mula bercerita. Dia mengenali gadis itu sejak 2 bulan yang lalu dan amat menyukainya. Yang berani mati,that gurl keje satu ofis dengan dia dan wife dia. MashaALLAH...Rian sendiri dah mati akal bagaimana lagi harus dinasihati sahabat yang sorang ni.
Pada awalnya, memang sukar untuk memahami kenapa dan mengapa semua itu berlaku, tapi bila mendalami dan cuba untuk memahaminya...Rian merasakan ada sebabnya kenapa dia jadik begitu. Apabila masalah rumah tangga berlaku, pihak yang akan dipertanggungjawabkan adalah lelaki. Memang benar, suami adalah nakhoda sebuah kapal, namun begitu kapal tidak akan belayar dengan baik tanpa anak kapal yang bagus.Cuba kita lihat Christoper Columbus sendiri, sejarah kejayaannya mengelilingi dunia, dia yang merancang dan memberi arahan tetapi ketekunan, kesabaran dan dedikasi anak-anak kapalnya memungkinkan semua itu berjaya dan terpahat di mata dunia. Kalau dibandingkan pula dengan dengan filem Pirates of Carrebean....adakah captain Jack Sparrow yang bertanggungjawab?? Tidak sepenuhnya kan?. Dia seorang tidak mampu melayarkan sebuah kapal yang besar demi sebuah pelayaran yang gah dan indah.Kalau anak kapal itu degil,tak mengikut arahan, pemalas, suka buat hal sendiri, adakah salah nakhoda? Begitulah diibaratkan dengan kehidupan berumahtangga.It need two to dance well.

Di awal perkahwinan mereka, Rian cuba menasihati Shah, memang dia berusaha untuk berubah. Tapi malangya isterinya tidak pernah memberinya peluang, memberinya kepercayaan....mungkin benar sekali kita melakukan kesilapan, sampai mati kita terus tidak dipercayai....Rian hanya menghela nafas.Dia teringat Shah berkata " saya bosan la hidup macam ni awak, saya tak buat pun dia cakap saya buat...kalau macam ni baik saya buat jer, sekurang-kurangnya saya gembira,"

"Yang saya perlukan saya perlukan bukan hanya seorang isteri tapi juga seorang sahabat yang boleh saya bercerita semua pasal diri saya,tapi dia tak pernah nak faham saya, saya pernah cakap dengan dia walau apa yang terjadi sekali pun saya tak akan tinggalkan dia, tak boleh ke sekali dia percaya kan saya? Selalu curiga, buruk sangka dengan saya, lepas tu makan hati sendiri, mana tahan macam tu"
Rian cuba memujuk " Ala pompuan biasa la tu Shah, slow talk dengan dia"
"Dia tu susah la....awak takkan faham"
"Then, buat saya faham"
" saya dah buat macam-macam tapi dia tetap masih macam tu, awak nak saya buat apa lagi?"
Rian hanya mengeluh "Hmmm.....tapi sampai bila awak nak macam ni? ke mana hala tuju awak? Dulu awak marahkan bapak awak sebab kahwin dua, awak marah dia sebab buat mak awak macam tu? Dont you think you r going to do the same to your wife"
" Awak silap, saya tak marahkan dia sebab dia kahwin, tapi sebab dia rahsiakan tak berterus terang dengan kami semua, dan dia abaikan tanggungjawab dia. Tapi saya tak pernah abaikan tanggungjawab saya pada isteri dan anak saya, awak tak boleh nak samakan saya dengan dia. We r different!!!" Bentak Shah, dadanya mula membara.
"Okay, ok, relaks..." Rian cuba menenangkan kembali lelaki itu. Dia senyum.
Lelaki di hadapannya bersuara lagi, " Awak sendiri pernah cakap dengan saya awak tak kisah bermadu kasih, sedangkan awak perempuan..Huh"
"Saya cakap macam tu sebab saya sedar siapa diri saya, keadaan saya, awak tak boleh jugak nak compare saya dengan situasi ni, hmmm..."
" Saya tak bermaksud macam tu, hmmmm susah hati saya dibuatnya. Tapi kan awak, kenapa yer..setiap kali saya susah hati saya mesti teringatkan awak, mesti rasa nak cari awak, dan setiap kali saya jumpa or dapat bercakap dengan awak, rasa release...."
" Because I'm your best friend...hehe...so camna dengan gurl tadi? Apa kata awak biarkan dia dulu, jangan kol or contact dia buat sementara, give her time nanti awak pujukla balik after 2, 3 ari, biasa macam tu la orang kuat merajuk ni"
Shah bersetuju dengan pendapat Rian itu, " Hows ur life now?"
" I'm still like this, I am who I am" jawab Rian sambil tersenyum. Shah juga tersenyum. Hatinya sentiasa ceria melihat wajah itu dengan senyuman walaupun dia tahu keperitan dan kelukaan di sebaliknya.
"Oklah, I've to go now"
" Yan.....ermm awak masih ingat kan andai satu masa awak masih tiada sesiapa, saya sudi terima awak bila-bila masa pun. Kalau awak setuju jadik isteri saya, anytime anywhere just tell me"
Rian merenung wajah di hadapannya sambil ketawa " jangan rosakkan persahabatan kita, dah 8 tahun kita berkawan kan.... dia sentiasa ada di sini" katanya sambil tangan di dada.

Hak Individu.....

2009-08-28T04:52:00.005+08:00

Bila sebut soal hak, masing-masing akan terfikir akan hak masing2....demokrasi bersuara dan dalam banyak perkara lain diamalkan secara meluas tak kira walau di mana pun...korang rasa kan sejauh mana ketelusan kita dalam mempamerkan hak masing2 dalam sesuatu perkara....mungkin jugak pelaksanaan hak tertentu dalam kehidupan seharian akan menghadkan sesuatu perkara dalam hidup kita...

Apakah hak anda?
Di manakah limitasinya??

Katakan dalam situasi berikut...

"Kenapa tak makan ni?"
" Tak suka la makan tu..".-------> ( hak individu)

" I miss you, what about you?"
" What do you think?"
" Entah"------.( Hak individu)

" So, awak masih xnak bagitau saya?"
" Buat apa bagitau awak?"
"Memang tak nak cakap la ni?"
"Suka ati saya la...apa awak kisah"------>( hak individu)

" Why u look so upset?"
" I hate her, so arrogant, salu pikir dia jer yang betul orang lain semua salah"---> ( hak individu)

" Eh, apasal busuk sangat ni, dah baper lama x mandi, bau kambing la"------> (hak individu)
" Mana ada, awakla yang bau busuk mengata saya pulak"
" Tak, ni memang bau awakla..eiii busuk betul"

ni beberapa situasi yang aku rasa menunjukkan kuasa seseorang dalam mempamerkan hak mereka..kebebesan menyatakan pendapat itulah yang aku nampak sebagai hak individu...walau bagaimanapun masih terdapat jugak hak-hak lain dalam soal pemilikan harta, soal pemilihan berdasarkan kehendak masing-masing dalam soal kepimpinan negara ( pilihanraya), soal pasangan hidup, kerjaya, kereta dan macam2 lagi lah. Semuanya bergantung kepada individu itu sendiri.Namun soalnya, sejauh mana penggunaan hak individu dalam aplikasi kehidupan kita..apakah ianya relevan atau tidak?

Kadang-kadang hak individu itu telah menidakkan keperluan hak individu yang lain...betul tak??

I'm sorry..

2009-08-27T17:23:00.006+08:00

I'm Sorry you're hurting. I know I was wrong. I guess this sounds like Just the same old song. Please say you'll forgive me, But I will wait if I must. But I will convince you, I can rebuild your trust. For I really have changed. This shook me up too! Now I stand in the knowledge, Of how much I love you! forgive me for my faults that seem to follow my life.. forgive me for my insecurities, that have caused you hurt and pushed you away. forgive me for my dependence on you; it can be hard to bear. i am crazy about you and i am so sorry for any mistakes i have may have made. but remember that my heart needs your smiles and laughter. my soul needs your friendship and love. most of all i need you, cause i am crazy in love with you.

p/s: since I got u back no one else in my heart....you re always my mat cipan 4eva....i dont to lose you again and i wanna be urs no matter how hard it will.....

Sick and Tired...

2009-08-27T00:04:00.004+08:00

So lately I'm starting to become dissatisfied with my life. I promise that this is a healthy thing. Because my life right now is not how I ever thought it would turn out. It is not even a proper reflection of me, or at least who I want to be.

I'm not really talking about my job. Although, yes, I would love to find something to do with my life that I care about... And I'm not talking about relationships really, either. I have good people--fantastic people-- in my life. They have sort of surrounded me in a protective bubble while I've found my way out the mess I made for myself the past year. They cover me with prayer and give me healthy doses of advice and reassurance that if I am a screw-up, it is a completely normal thing.

What worries me about my life right now is how little I'm giving. There are people in my life who end up getting neglected because I'm sooo needy right now. And I'm not used to being the needy one, I usually have the bare essential crap together in my life. And maybe they don't feel that way, like I don't care anymore, but they probably do. I have a contact list on my phone full of people I need to be catching up with, but I call the same 4-5 people when I have a few moments to chat. I suck. I used to think that that is just how it goes.

I'm sick of my day revolving around me. My life, my needs, my interests, my stomach, my aches and pains, my anxiety, my sadness, my sense of humor... Its all about me and I have a hard time stomaching myself because of it.

I need to revolve around life, not the other way around.

Voice inside me...

2009-08-24T11:07:00.003+08:00

Bismillahirrahmanirrahiiim

Have you ever thought about how many ways we have failed in the tasks of keeping ourselves in our ibadah during this glorious month? I do. Constantly.

This past week I realise how much more I still have to improve before I can measure up myself against the reflection in the mirror. And yesterday after solat terawikh, I thought about it. Sure, I used to be with a fine group of fun people later enjoying the sights and sounds before.. I forgot where I come from, I pat revenge for whats happening in my life..but now...I realize I did a major mistake.

Alot of us including myself need to get in touch with ourselves. What with the way our lives are run by deadlines and schedules and by what time we should be at work, some of us may tend to feel disenchanted. And why not? After awhile life becomes dreary and monotonous. We tend to let our failures and out invunerabilities get to us. But we forget, that God has not drawn our last breathe out of us. And it is a bloody miracle that you open your eyes from sleep and see another day. We should all of us at least be thankful for that.

Only now, even though I am known to choose who I associate myself with, I am beginning to treasure those people that I do keep in my company. Old and new. Young and not-so-young. I have learnt how much some people still despise me and how some truly value the words that I shared with them.

But I am not letting the danger of letting some level of greatness get to my head. For now more than ever, I try to approach many things with a fair level of conscience.

I would not take interest in people who are quick to judge me.

But this Ramadhan I will not suppress my will but I will realise what more that must be done. And eventually my purpose for still being on God's great Earth.

Wallahua'alambisawaaf....

Mereka tetap mereka....

2009-08-23T23:54:00.004+08:00

Jam menunjukkan tepat jam 12 tengah malam..tiba-tiba kedengaran deringan telefonnya....siapa plak yang kol tengah-tengah malam macam ni desis hati Ida sendirian...

Belum sempat dijawab, deringan berhenti, selang beberapa saat handphonenya berdering lagi...tertera call from Erza...hmmm apahal plak kol aku malam-malam ni.
" Assalamualaikum"
" Waalaikumussalam.....Ida ko tak tido lagi?" satu suara menyapu gegendang telinganya.
" Belum, ko tau la aku ni memang susah nak tido malam kan" jawab Ida disusuli senyuman dibibir." Ha, ni apehal call aku dah tengah malam ni, x mengulit cik abg ko ker?? hehe..ni kan bulan puasa malam2 jer la boleh mengulit"
" Hmmmmm," Tiada sambutan hanya keluhan panjang didengari.
" Eza..kenapa ni? Ko ada masalah lagi ek?"
" Ida, ko kat mane ni?"
" Aku baru je sampai kampung petang tadi, ada masalah sikit, kena settlekan"
" Ko dah sihat ker? Dengar suara ko ceria jer..."
" Alhamdulillah...semuanya bertambah baik cuma aku cacat lagi la" disusuli gelak tawa
" Eish ko ni, ko kan baru je keluar wad, bawak la bersabar, slow2 la nanti okla tu takkan la nak terus sembuh kan?" Erza cuba menyangkal kata-kata kawannya itu.
" Wait2....ko ni asyik tanya aku jer ko plak apa citer?? ni mesti ada hal la ni" seperti biasa Ida sudah dapat meneka tujuan sahabatnya itu.
" Sorry la Ida..aku bukannya nak susahkan kau tapi kau sahaja yang aku ada untuk cerita semua ni, aku belum bersedia untuk beritahu keadaan sebenar...ko kan tau setakat ni ko sorang aje yang tahu pasal masalah aku ni" jawab Erza.
" Takpela...aku tak kisah lagipun what a fren for kan?? dah lebih 5 tahun kita berkawan kan, ko sendiri tau macam mana prinsip aku dalam soal kawan or persahabatan ni, apa yang aku mampu aku tolong, aku akan tolong, jangan risau k. Kau tak pernah susahkan aku pun..Kenapa dengan Hisyam?"
Keadaan hening seketika, tiada sebarang kata yang keluar.Tiba-tiba Ida mendengar satu suara halus esak tangis sahabatnya.
" Eza, are u ok?" soal Ida dengan kerisauan di dada. Berasak-asak persoalan muncul di benaknya kala itu. " Eza, plzz dont cry....I'm here tell me whats happening?"
" Ida...." Erza memanggil sahabatnya.Dia sendiri tidak tahu bagaimana harus memulakan bicara.
" Kenapa dengan Hisyam?"
" Hisyam benci aku Ida,dia tampar aku tadi....dia macam dah lupa aku isterinya"
" Ya Allah kenapa boleh jadik macam tu...ni kan bulan puasa.Hmmm..."
Erza menarik nafas sebelum memulakan cerita.

Petang tadi, waktu berbuka semua ipar-iparnya telah datang berbuka kat sini, memang begitulah rutin sejak ibu mertuanya tinggal bersama mereka.Dia tidak pernah kisah dengan keadaan itu, tetapi apa yang berlaku petang tadi amat melukakan dirinya.Dia akan menyediakan juadah berbuka untuk mereka semua, tanpa rungutuan dia mengikhlaskan diri dengan harapan mereka semua akan menerimanya kembali seperti sebelumnya.

" Cuba kau cerita kat aku, slowly k" ida menggesa Erza.
"Ida, diorang boleh marah aku, tak suka aku, tapi apa salah anak aku sampai diorang salahkan budak tu sebab keturunan aku,aku sendiri tak faham apa yang diorang benci sangat dengan aku" Erza mula mengadu.
"Aku tak faham lagi ni.."
"Iman demam, tak sihat kau tau la budak-budak kan meragam la bila tak sihat.Aku buat kerja tadi pun sambil berdukung dia..harapkan papanya...tido jer seharian."
" Apa yang anak kau dah buat?"
" Tadi tengah2 nak berbuka tu...dia menangis, meragam lepas tu tertolak pinggan...habis semua jatuh pecah, lepas tu ada serpihan kaca tu terkena anak abang ipar aku, luka la...habis semua kecoh, anak aku pun luka jugak tapi tak ada yang peduli even Hisyam sendiri, aku sedih aku tak tau kenapa dia jadi macam tu,semua start marahkan anak aku ko tau dan aku dengar kakak Hisyam cakap, kecik-kecik pun anak dah jahat macam mak dia, kalau dah besar tak tau la apa jadi,dasar keturunan tak elok sampai bila pun takkan elok, ni salah ko la Syam nak sangat pompuan macam tu..... kau boleh bayangkan tak?"
" Iman tu baru masuk 3 tahun, apa yang budak tau, gila ke apa keluarga ko ni Eza" Ida mula membara bila mendengar semua itu.
" Macam-macam lagi diaorang mengata aku Ida, tapi aku tak tahan nak dengar, aku bawak Iman lari"
" La dah tu ko kat mane ni skarang?"
" Aku di hotel....tadi aku pergi hospital dulu. demam Iman makin teruk"
"Tadi ko cakap laki ko tampar ko? Apa kes? Sebab hal ni jugak?"
" Aku boleh terima kalau orang maki aku, marah aku, kutuk aku, buli aku Ida...tapi kalau dah sebut keturunan sampai anak aku yang jadik mangsa .....aku tak boleh Ida" esakannya makin jelas semula.
Ida memahami, naluri ibu mana yang mampu bertahan apabila anak sendiri dipersalahkan.
"Eza, aku nak tanya ko, ko kena jawab dengan ikhlas....apa yang ko dah buat sebenarnya sampaikan diorang tu macam tak suka sangat dengan ko?"

Tut....Tut....TUT!!!!!

Talian putus....

Ida cuba mendial semula beberapa kali, tapi suara mesin yang kedengaran..

p/s: Korang rasa apa kemungkinannya??....

Forgive and Forget.....

2009-08-23T07:51:00.004+08:00

If to forgive is divine, how come it's so hard for us to do?

So much of forgiveness depends on our own emotional state of being. We learn from an early age how to forgive. If we were raised in a family where forgiveness was rare and grudges were long, we often unwittingly carry those traditions into our adult lives. How we feel about ourselves and how able we are to express difficult emotions like anger and sadness also play a role in how good we are at forgiving.

Maybe the most important part of our ability to forgive is our sense of responsibility for our own lives and relationships. That's not to say that you deserve the mistreatment that makes you angry or hurt. It means that no adult in a consensual relationship is ever a completely innocent victim. And if you are able to really look at yourself, you will almost always see ways in which you contributed to the problem or conflict. It's that awareness that is the source of forgiveness.

Ultimately, what inspires us to forgive is more often selfishness than anything else. It hurts too much to stay angry and it becomes self-destructive to hold back forgiveness. We forgive for the sake of love; we just sometimes get stuck on the way there.

So what do you need to do to get on the path to forgiveness?

Take a look in the mirror and ask: How have you contributed to the crime your loved one committed? How did you help drive things to this painful place? Once you see your own role you'll be able to take some of the blame off your partner.

How is grudge holding serving you? Are you not forgiving because you are scared you'll get hurt again? Maybe you secretly relate to your loved one's crime and have thought about doing it yourself. Maybe what you disdain in your partner is really what you disdain about yourself. When you are aware of how little the grudge you are holding has to do with your partner and how much it has to do with you, it's that much easier to release it.

Express your feelings. Yes, we may get angry and express it in the moment when we are first confronted with a misdeed or betrayal. But after that, are you just stuck in anger? Have you let yourself really feel the sadness and maybe even fear that was brought on by your loved one's actions? Have you expressed those feelings to him or her? Often you will find that if you allow yourself to really experience these feelings, the anger isn't as strong anymore and forgiving comes easier.

Ask yourself what you really want. Too often grudge holding leads you to bite off your nose to spite your face. Do you want to stay in this relationship or move on? Do you still feel love and connection to this person? If you do, it's time to forgive and forget. It may take time to heal and rebuild the trust, but if you commit to the relationship and communicate honestly through the process you'll likely make it through the other side in a better place in your relationship than before.

When we forgive our loved ones we are also forgiving ourselves, and we are choosing love over anger and regret. And that is truly divine

Who hasn't said something that stung another, done something that made you cringe, or chose inaction in a case where action would have made a world of difference? No one can get through life without making mistakes, and one of the best ways to grow and evolve is by learning from mistakes. So why hold onto the painful past, when you can heal that with forgiveness.....

p/s : Sayang, saya akan sentiasa memaafkan awak atas segala kesilapan lalu awak, kesilapan masa kini mahupun kesilapan awak di masa akan datang...kerana rasa sayang saya melebihi semua itu untuk awak....kerana saya juga percaya tiada manusia yang tidak akan melakukan kesalahan atau kesilapan dan untuk itu saya akan sentiasa mengajar diri saya untuk sentiasa memaafkan awak dan menerima awak seadanya awak.......

Andai ku tahu....

2009-08-22T09:34:00.012+08:00

Hari ini hari pertama ramadhan..alhamdulillah....dapat lagi aku bertemu dengan bulan yang mulia ini....setahun sudah berlalu, ada yang berlaku tanpa kuduga...ada yang hilang dan pergi begitu sahaja, ada yang datang kembali, ada yang melukai, ada yang menyinari, ada yang membawa seribu itu...namun semuanya kuharap akan terus bersama ku hingga ke akhir waktu.... Buat sahabat dan teman yang mengiringi perjalanan hidupku, shukron...aku sangat menghargai keberadaan kalian dalam hidupku... Kepada mereka yang istimewa...kalian akan sentiasa menghuni ruangan hatiku... Kepada mereka yang tersayang, aku akan menyayangi hingga tiada lagi nyawa ini...

Andai aku tahu suatu waktu dahulu semua ini akan berlaku, aku tidak akan meletakkan diriku dalam permainan takdir ini Ya Allah.....namun aku pasrah..ini ketentuanMU....

Andai aku tahu.....suatu waktu dia akan pergi meninggalkan diriku...
Andai aku tahu.... suatu masa dia akan kembali semula padaku...
Andai aku tahu.......suatu ketika dia mula menyayangi diriku semula....
Andai aku tahu.......setiap detik dia akan memerlukan diriku...
Andai aku tahu......aku juga menginginkan dirinya
Andai aku tahu.....aku ingin memilikinya...
Andai aku tahu....aku tak mampu kehilangannya......

Demi ALLAH, aku sanggup berkorban demi kasih itu.... Ya Allah...redhoi ketulusan hati ini...YA ALLAH beri aku ketabahan...YA ALLAH....aku sanggup berkorban demi rahmatMU....

Soal kita dan dirinya...

2009-08-21T10:52:00.002+08:00

Kiter renungkan sesama... mungkin ade hikmah disebaliknya....
Kita akan mengetahui yang kita merindui seseorang apabila jantung berdegup pantas ketika teringatkan dia. Dan walaupun sekadar "Hai" daripada dia mencukupi sebagai penenang.

Kita mungkin menaruh hati kepadanya, cuma tidak menyedarinya tidak mahu menerimanya sebagai kenyataan. "Jangan jadi terlalu baik, saya akan merindui kamu. Jangan terlalu mengambil berat, saya mungkin menyukai kamu! . Jangan jadi terlalu 'sweet', saya mungkin jatuh hati kepada kamu. Amat sukar untuk saya menyayangi kamu jika kamu tidak mahu membalasnya."

Seseorang yang membuat kita jatuh hati kepadanya sebenarnya menyayangi kamu lebih daripada kamu menyayangi dia. Jika seseorang hadir dalam hidup kamu dan menjadi sebahagian daripada kamu, tetapi atas sebab tertentu dia terpaksa pergi, jangan terlalu sedih .......terimalah kenyataan itu dan sekurang2nya dia pernah membahagiakan kamu.

Masa akan menentukan segalanya, jika dia ditakdirkan bersama, dia akan kembali.
Jangan melarikan diri dari 'cinta' apabila ia berada di hadapan kamu, Jangan melarikan diri daripadanya kerana suatu hari nanti, kamu pasti akan teringatkannya kembali dan menyesali perbuatan kamu itu.

Hargai orang yang menyayangi kamu, bukan mudah untuk mencari orang yang menyayangi kita, yang paling berharga ialah hati yang ikhlas. Penyesalan terbesar dalam hidup ialah risiko yang kita tidak ambil. Jika merasakan sesuatu itu akan membuatkan kita bahagia, maka teruskan. Ingatlah bahawa kita akan melalui semua ini hanya sekali, mungkin tiada lagi peluang kedua.

Masa tidak menunggu kita. Jika kita merasai telah bertemu dengan orang yang sesuai, maka hargailah dia, jangan biarkan dia berlalu begitu sahaja. Jangan bertangguh kerana takut. Cubalah dahulu atau akan menyesal kerana membiarkan ia berlalu begitu sahaja. Tiada sesiapapun yang tahu apakah yang membuatkan anda benar2 bahagia. Ada 2 titis air mata mengalir di sebuah sungai. Satu titis air mata tu menyapa air mata yang satu lagi,

"Saya air mata seorang gadis yang menyayangi seorang lelaki tetapi telah kehilangannya. Siapa kamu pula?".
Jawab titis air mata kedua tu, "Saya air mata seorang lelaki yang menyesal membiarkan seorang gadis yang menyayangi saya berlalu begitu sahaja."

Tiada sesiapapun yang simpati kepada orang yang sengaja membiarkan peluang pergi begitu sahaja tanpa berusaha untuk mendapatkannya atau mempertahankannya. Kita selalunya tidak menghargai seseorang yang hampir atau menyayangi kita sehingga dia pergi meninggalkan kita; kemudian kita akan sedih dan menyesal mengingatkannya.

Terdapat banyak bebintang di langit tetapi hanya satu sahaja yang begitu menyerlah sehingga dapat menarik perhatian kita Dari kalangan yang itu,kita pilih mengabaikan sebutir bintang yang sanggup menyinari anda walau dimana sahaja kita berada.

Ulasan:
Bahagian 1: orang yang bersama anda ketika ini mungkin bukanlah orang yang benar2 anda sayangi.
Bahagian 2: terdapat orang yang tahu dia tidak dapat bersama kamu ketika ini tetapi masih menyayangi kamu sepenuh hatinya, fikirkanlah.
Lawaknya bila kita meletakkan standard untuk orang yang bakal kita sayangi, tetapi jauh di sudut hati, kita tahu yang orang yang kita sayangi itu terkecuali daripada standard itu. (don't be too choosy!)

Kita amat kritikal terutamanya kepada orang yang kita sukai atau sayangi kerana kita mahukan yang terbaik untuk diri kita. Tetapi sebenarnya kesempurnaan dan hubungan terbaik dapat dicapai dengan berusaha bersama. Ia bukanlah terletak kepada satu individu sahaja.
Cinta itu membawa kegembiraan walaupun ia sering melukakan. Cinta itu istimewa jika ia diberikan kepada orang yang bertuah.

Jika bertemu seseorang yang benar2 menghargai diri, maka dia berhak mendapat kasih kita.
Menyayangi/mencintai itu umpama bermain piano. pertama, kita bermain ikut peraturannya. Kemudian, lupakan peraturannya dan main ikut hati.

Kkepercayaan terhadap pasangan adalah amat penting. Untuk mempercayai seseorang yang anda sayang/cintai, anda mestilah membuat dia mempercayai anda dahulu. Yakin terhadap diri sendiri dan pasangan anda. Jangan buat mereka ragu-ragu terhadap anda dan jangan ragu-ragu terhadap mereka.

Apa kata seseorang memberitahu anda ini "Saya tidak percaya dengan courtship (mendapatkan perhatian bagi memenangi seseorang). Ia cuma membuang masa sahaja. Jika saya mencintai seseorang, maka saya akan meluahkan isi hati saya kepadanya. Tetapi, ada pula pengecualian bagi anda, jika anda mencintai saya, saya akan 'court' (sentiasa cuba memenangi) anda selamanya..."

Cinta itu memerlukan masa untuk disedari kehadirannya. Terdapat cinta pandang pertama, tetapi ia masih memerlukan masa bagi pihak satu lagi menyedarinya. Merinduinya apabila dia tiada di sisi, mengharapkan berita daripadanya apabila berjauhan... Adalah lebih baik untuk berani mencintai walaupun akhirnya anda kecewa daripada tidak mahu mencintai kerana takutkan risiko atau cabaran yang bakal mendatang.

Jangan berputus asa apabila terdapat saingan dalam percintaan. Adalah lebih baik untuk mencubanya terlebih dahulu; kerana jika berjaya, kemenangannya itu teramat manis. Tetapi, jika tidak mahu/berani mencubanya, kita mungkin akan kehilangan orang yang kita sayang/cintai selamanya.

Jangan takut untuk meluahkan isi hati kepada orang yang anda sayang/cintai. Beritahu mereka dan biar mereka buat keputusan di pihak mereka. Salah satu perkara yang paling indah dalam hidup ialah memberitahu kepada orang yang anda sayangi betapa penting dan istimewanya mereka dalam hidup anda. Dengan itu, kita akan rasa lebih yakin dan puas serta rasa bangga terhadap diri kerana anda telah menunaikan tanggungjawab anda terhadap perasaan hati anda. Jangan sesekali mengkhianati perasaan hati anda kerana akibatnya, hanya yang akan sengsara bukan orang lain.

Salah satu cabaran paling sukar dalam hidup ialah mencari orang yang tahu segala kelemahan dan kekurangan diri kita, tetapi dia masih sangup menyayangi dengan sepenuh hatinya.

Cinta itu adalah berasaskan tolak ansur dan pengorbanan. Jika dia tahu kelemahan dan kekurangan dan masih sanggup bersama kita dan lebih menyayangi kita, maka kitalah orang yang paling bertuah! Dia ! layak mendapat cinta kita.
Ruang kosong di antara celah-celah jari kita dicipta untuk dipenuhi oleh jari-jari orang lain.

Bukalah pintu hati, benarkan orang yang kita sayangi masuk, jangan ragui tujuan mereka kerana keikhlasan itu dapat dirasai dalam hati. Dalam percintaan, terdapat beberapa perkara yang perlu disedari. Apabila bercinta...... Ia bukan 'passport' untuk difahami; tetapi untuk kita memahami. Ia bukan 'passport' untuk mengambil itu dan ini; tetapi untuk kita diambil. Ia adalah untuk kita mendengar; bukan supaya kita didengar. Ia adalah untuk kita berkorban dan bertolak ansur; bukan untuk kita meminta itu dan ini. Ia bukan untuk kita berkira2 atau mengukur; tetapi untuk kita mencintai.

People Will Forget What U Said
People Will Forget What U Did
But People Will Never Forget How U Made Them Feel "

SELAMAT BERPUASA...

2009-08-21T07:21:00.003+08:00

Aku nak ucapkan selamat berpuasa untuk korang semua....semoga RAMADHAN yang datang akan membawa seribu maghrifah pada kita semua....Insyallah..

Memoirs of my existence....1st edition

2009-08-20T12:19:00.006+08:00

Hmmm....ni nak share ngan korang picture aku mase aku pergi field trip....join my supervisor doing research in Tanah Tinggi Lojing, ada banyakk picture dengan budak2 ni....this trip was held on last March...kalau korang nak tau aku ni memang la suka pergi tempat-tempat macam ni...peaceful place for me....kalau nak ajak jalan2 ajak je...hutan, sungai, waterfall, island....tapi jangan la ajak aku pegi bandar2 besar...cos for me kalau nak bercuti bukannya pergi carik pencemaran n kesibukan...sedangkan hari biasa pun kita dah dapat semuanya..what for we still run for that?...

Ni kira junior2 aku la...bebudak ni ayu and liza...diorang ni muda 5 tahun daripada aku...tapi kan aku rasa macam aku nampak sebaya je kan ngan diorang hehe ( sorry la kalau aku terperasan)

Hyperactive tak aku?? haha....
Ni odw nak panjat tanah tinggi ni...memang penat gakla ....dah la tengahari buta

Ni kat dalam bas, bertolak pukul 12 tengah malam and then sampai lebih kurang pukul 7 pagi di tempat kejadian huhu

Yang kat bawah ni gambar-gambar orkid...ni projek Diraja hak milik Raja Perempuan

yang kat bawah ni ada strawberry (CAMOSA) dan ada tomato daripada pelbagai variety....

Meaning behind my name.....

2009-08-19T12:20:00.004+08:00

One more personality test for me....seem like getting addicted with this hehe

POPULAR

You are a very exciting person. Everyone loves you. You have excellent ways of viewing people. And most of the time you think positively.

Betul ker smua tu?? huhu

THE ART OF SEDUCTION.- SEDUCE YOUR MAN

2009-08-19T09:43:00.003+08:00

Finally this morning, I finished reading one more book..THE ART OF SEDUCTION by Jayne Fisher...I'm gonna share it here the all the input with all woman out there..these are some tips which I had summarized.

1st- choose the right person to seduce,this is more a matter of instinct than anything else, most of us will attempt to make conversation or at least eye contact, usually we can feel it with our potential partner.

The thrill of seduction sometimes lies in the chase rather than the conquest. (The excitement of wanting and pursuing someone)----> sense of satisfaction.

Body language-his body signals are far better indicators of how he feels about you
eyes- the biggest give-away when it comes to seduction (either sex)
Trust your instinct and you'll feel whether he's interested or not.
His tone of voice- tell you a lot about what he feels toward you

Flirt-IMPORTANT!!!- keeping other person interested and aroused...as well as letting them know that they are unlikely to be rejected.

Once you've made it known that you are attracted to him, you'll need to let him know where the encounter is likely to be heading. People have very different ideas of what sex should be, so it's important that you both know that you're looking for the same things and headed in the same direction. The subtle approach is more likely to get you what you want. Remember, though, men generally take the lead in this area, even asking questions and trying to determine whether you'd make a satisfactory sex partner. Follow his lead. The questions probably won't be that direct (depending upon the man), but they will be based around 'self-disclosure'. He tells you some, you tell him some and this creates trust. Try discussing sex in a light-hearted, abstract manner when talking with a potential lover, testing each other in a non-committal way.

Two people, who may have been attracted to each other visually, may not have the right chemistry to move along the road of seduction. Once you've talked a little about it, does he still seem interested? Look for signs of acceptance or rejection (remember rejection could depend on many many things - perhaps you're just too much woman for him). If you pick up on any signs of rejection, don't waste your time on something that is very unlikely to happen, no matter how much you think you fancy him. The right man is out there just waiting to be seduced by you!

Surrender - If you're still doing fine and the signals are good, it's time to make your move. One of you must surrender. In all probability it will be you, because even if you initiated the seduction, he will probably have taken over the role of pursuer somewhere along the line. The roles of 'hunter' and 'prey' have been decided through thousands of years of evolution, and usually fall naturally into place.

Seduce, surrender and enjoy!

Old pic....( In memory)

2009-08-19T01:02:00.007+08:00

Tahap KESENGALAN ....

2009-08-18T00:23:00.003+08:00

aku ada buat test level of kesengalan diri aku ni...korang nak tau x apa result dia?? kuang2x

level  sengal: TAHAP GELI MAT

anda memang sengal.bila bersembang dengan rakan2 anda gemar melakukan fenomena2 yg memeranjatkan rakan2 anda mahupun orang di sekeliling dengan hujah2 yang tidak menepati ISO 9001,sehingga hampir membunuh mereka dengan gelak ketawa.sikap tidak tahu malu anda merupakan daya tarikan utama anda,terutamanya terhadap polis yang sentiasa berwaspada di mana saja anda berada demi menghalang kelakuan anda yang tak senonoh.pendek kata, level sengal anda di tahap maksimum

Guys...can u imagine that??.....Its not true kan???...hahaha..........

Something for you...

2009-08-18T00:03:00.004+08:00

Many people will walk in and out of our life but only few of them will leave footprint your heart, to handle yourself, use your heart to handle others,,,,anger is only one letter short of danger. If someone betrays you once, it his fault...if he betrays you twice...it is your fault...great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events but small minds discuss people, he loses money, loses much, he who loves faith, lose ALL......beautiful young people are accident of nature but beautiful old people are works of art..... Learn from mistakes of others....you cant live long enough to make them all yourself.... Friends....YOU and ME....you brought another friend....and then...they were three....we started our group..our circles of friend.....and like that circle...there's no beginning or end.... Yesterday is history...tomorrow....it will be a mystery.......... For me....Today is a gift.....and that's why they call it the present..........

The good old days...

2009-08-17T00:48:00.003+08:00

TIME....

2009-08-17T00:15:00.004+08:00

Time....its something that is not there but yet we can feel the presence. explicity..Yeah Maybe time is just another interface that used by human to describes rhings just like another word...but somehow I think it is far complex than anyone could eva think. It's not merely what number fingers of clock is pointing.It can represent a lifetime, a century, hopes, memories, zenith of dynasty or can be divided into three.

What are the threes??....THE PAST,THE PRESENT, and THE FUTURE. Theres no exact line between those three but yet its there. People say "I live in the moment". Can you?
Those moments you called present slip betweekn your fingers with you barely notice it. But some a gift....thats what we called present. Thats another way to look at it. Its ironic I would say, now I can swear it's the present by the time I finished writing this sentence it's the past already.It's like has never been there but...it was theres just now.....Hmmmm I;m gonna be crazy like this.

I also think that time is the biggest illusion of all time..You see the exact amount can be excruciatingly long and extremely short at the same time. A minute can be long when you holding your breath .....and can be meaningless ..when you are things that can be extremely important like when you are saving someone;s life..but its still only a minute...60 seconds....TICK ! TICK! TICK!!...There it goes.

The past is illusion
The future is illusion
Only the present is real

BY:
( Jeffrey Deaver)

Time makes the heart grow fonder. Time make us forget....hmmm Really???...What if something that you just simply forget?? Somethings you just can't let go??..even its hurting you...still remain there.

Future....An anticipation..A hope...

p/s: I wish I can buy the time....and then I can get back what I lose before.....

Wanita...

2009-08-15T13:51:00.006+08:00

Yang dicari
Walau bukanlah putera raja, biarlah putera agama,
Yang diimpi,
Biarlah tak punya rupa, asal sedap dipandang mata,
Yang dinilai,
Bukan sempurna sifat jasmani, asalkan sihat RUHANI sempurna HATI,
Yang Diharap
Bukan jihad pada semangat asal perjuangannya ada matlamat,
Yang Datang
Tak perlu Kijjalyang gemilang,
Kerana hanyalah srikandi dengan silam yang kelam,
Yang Dinanti
Bukan lamaran dengan permata, cukuplah akad dan janji
&
Yang Akan Terjadi
andai tak sama kehendak HATI .....redho dengan ketetapan ILahi
Itulah Ketentuan sejak Azali.......

What feature your soulmate Notice First??

2009-08-14T06:02:00.003+08:00

I' went through a personality test for myself and this is the result,...huhu

Personality

Your personality is your best feature. Once your lover gets a sense of your personality, you have them hooked for life.

SO guys..... what do you think?? hehe

Darn...

2009-08-14T04:44:00.003+08:00

Mistakes are awful. It just plain stupid. After a mistake was done, I would have one desperate wish. The wish that I haven't done that one particukar action that has led to the particular mistakes. Once you had done the mistakes people will memorize it forever and sometimes it will effect your entire life. Arghh.......... But mistakes makes you learn. I guess. My latest lesson, I fell down in the toilet .....tersedak tengah makan or maybe tetiba jer batuk or tersepak apa-apa.Bila dah rasa baru sedar diri betul tak?? Uhhh I did a wrong thing, after that you realize it.......huhu

Whateva the lessons....It just stupid to make the same mistake twice.Learn from your mistakes, make sure the incoming mistakes much better that yesterday's mistakes....hehehe..

Dia datang sebagai Anugerah....

2009-08-13T09:01:00.005+08:00

Anak-anak lahir sebagai datang sebagai permata lambang ikatan kasih ibu dan ayah..sebagai amanah yang telah dipertanggungjawabkan...Sesungguhnya anak merupakan hadiah terindah dalam kehidupan seseorang....Teman-teman dan sahabat, hargailah, cintailah dan didiklah mereka supaya menjadi insan yang berjaya bukan sahaja di dunia malah di akhirat, bukan sahaja cemerlang daripada pembangunan sahsiah dan kendiri.

Apa yang aku melalut kat atas tu huhu...macam la dah anak sendiri kan..anak sendiri takde tapi anak pinjam ramailah.. walau apapun mereka tetap ada tempat tersendiri di hati aku...

Last nite, one of my cousin give me the latest pic of my 'son"...budak ni memang daripada dalam perut mak dia lagi dah jadik anak aku lebih kurang la...at least once a week, i will talk to him since his mom only 3 months pregrant that time......baby boy..huhu. Sebenarnya, cousin aku ni telah kematian suami pada tahun lepas.. suami dia engineer TNB telah terlibat dalam satu kemalangan dan meninggal di tempat kejadian. Si suami tu juga seorang yang sangat rapat dengan aku sebab kami berjiran sejak kecil kiranya macam kawan sepermainan la..geng askar masa kecik2 dulu tapi sayangnya, umur arwah tidak panjang dan dia telah meninggal sebelum sempat melihat zuriatnya lahir ke bumi ini.....

Semenjak arwah tiada, my cousin menghadapi tamparan yang sangat hebat dan hampir kehilangan bayinya pada masa itu, tapi alhamdulillah berkat sokongan kami semua, semuanya telah selamat dan that baby sangat la comel...hehe menurun sape la tu....kena badi aku kot..yerlah aku yang uruskan dia sejak dalam kandungan lagi, hehe terkena badi agaknya...jangan menurun perangai sudah memang hancur......kuang3x

Aku yang memilih namanya..... Muhammad Adyan Adzril Bin Muhammad Khairul Azhan.
Muhammad ialah nama junjungan besar Nabi Muhammad
Adyan membawa maksud pelita, dian atau kemegahan
Adzril adalah kehidupan yang indah

Semoga Adyan akan menjadi pelita yang membawa kebahagiaan dalam kehidupan kami semua...Insyallah.

Adyan.....Anyah syg bangat sama Adyan...I'm sorry tak dapat jumpa Adyan skrang...besarlah cepat-cepat sikit boleh temankan Anyah kan....mesti enchem anak manakan Anyah ni huhu.....I love so much.....

I am MISSING you

2009-08-13T00:03:00.002+08:00

TO you MISS me....
TO you DONT MISS me...
TO you THINK of me...
TO you DONT THINK of me

BUT....I THINK with You..

I'm not myself anymore....

2009-08-12T23:43:00.005+08:00

WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU WAKEUP IN THE MORNING AND EVERYTHING IS NOT THE SAME LIKE THE DAY BEFORE?...CRYING?? SAD?....OR HAPPY??

I'm not myself anymore....its different now, start being "pelupa" too...all the drugs shows their side effect now..Hmmmmm

Life Vs Principles...

2009-08-11T23:03:00.006+08:00

Principles..Do you have one?? I bet each of us do. Maybe not just one but a whole lot. Maybe we just realize it yet. What is it anyway?? Well, I'm thinking of a rule that we made for ourselves and willingly wants to abide it.

When people said " I do not eat mushroom...I dont eat durian or maybe I dont eat from stalls by the street." It can be simple as that or it can be bigger issues like...." I will save the best for the last...No drugs for my entire life or ...........what come to ur mind now??

I dont think what the princple is that matters but sticking to its more important.

People have reasons for their own principles. A real good one usually.Well depends on their reasoning too sometimes. When people start to give reason to things they really want, every wrong things can be right. When you putyour words in a really proper way, you actually can get want just by tweaking the truth a little.I really suck at that area. I dont know how to manipulate and when I tried I tend to be transparent. Yeah. I digress.Hmm....

But, right now I'm focusing on principles because I have serious problem with that.

People , rules are meant to be broken.Well, maybe. But how about principles?? I dont know about but i broke mine all the time. Ughh,,, sometime it makes me really hate myself for that. When my principles say I dont want to do this because its wrong or because I just dont like it but when somone ask me to, I tend to follow it. Blindly. Just like that. Hmmm....I am afraid to say no, because I am afraid of what people will think of me and thats just stupid because I believe my pricniples are good.Maybe I just made that up in my mind. Because I know I am not that good....But I want to be good..Hmm... That just sound really corny and who cares what people thik when you are doing the right thing. Right?

I hate people with too much principals because i think they are no fun and they not that good anyway ...talk too many and do so little.

I dont even know if anyone will understand what I'm trying to say.

MOHABBAT

2009-08-11T02:19:00.001+08:00

Aku Tak Tahan Lagi!!

2009-08-10T14:39:00.004+08:00

" Ida, aku betul-betul dah tak tahan lagi hidup macam ni, sampai bila nak teruskan hidup macam ni?" sebak di dada disertai dengan sendu yang tak pernah putus.Tiada siapa yang dapat memahami dirinya, hanya sahabatnya ni sahaja yang ada menjadi tempat dia meluahkan perasaan.

"Sabar la, dia tetap suami kau, kau dah cuba bawak berbincang?"
"Dah berbuih dah mulut aku ni Ida oi, kalau nampak berbuah dah lama dah aku untung jual kat pasar...hmm apalah nasib aku ni? Aku tak pernah sangka hidup aku macam ni Ida"
" Kadang-kadang seumur hidup pun masih belum cukup untuk kita mengenal siapa diri pasangan kita Eza, dahla tu janganla nangis lagi setiap kali kau call aku asyik dengar kau nangis ajer...mana dia Eza yang aku kenal dulu?"
" Keadaan buat aku berubah Ida....Aku dah tak boleh jadik macam dulu lagi"
" Kau boleh, kenapa plak tak boleh? who say so??...Semuanya bergantung pada kita, how we want to see this world,"
" Tapi..." keluhannya semakin ketara.Semuanya berlaku tanpa diduga, semuanya berubah seawal usia perkahwinannya setahun, segala manisnya hilang begitu sahaja, dia tidak pernah meragui kasih suami, tapi campur tangan ahli keluarga dan mertuanya telah memporak porandakan rumah tangga mereka. Dia sendiri tidak memahami, di mana silapnya, nak dikatakan dia bukan menantu pilihan, soal itu tidak pernah timbul daripada awal perhubungan mereka, malah dia telah mendapat title " menantu kesayangan mak" walaupun hanya dengan status tunang pada masa itu, dia seolah-olah merasakan layanan bakal ibu mertuanya lebih baik daripada mamanya sendiri tapi apa dah jadik sekarang?...Aku tidak pernah berniat untuk merebut anaknya itu, memang benar dia suamiku tapi tiada apa yang dapat mengubah hakikat dia akan tetap menjadi anakmu sampai bila-bila. Dia milikmu kerana dia lelaki, syurganya di telapak kakimu, sedang aku syurgaku dan redho suami milik anakmu itu. Sampai bilakah harus aku berendam air mata begini? tegarkah aku?
" Erza,..kau ada lagi?"
" Ada, aku masih di sini. Kau ingat tak dulu kau cakap aku bertuah, aku ada mempunyai dua ibu yang sangat menyayangi aku"
" Ya, aku ingat lagi kali pertama kau bawak aku pergi rumah Syam masa kenduri arwah datuk dia dulu. Memang Eza, aku begitu iri hati melihat layanan keluaga "bakal" mertua kau, seolah-olah kau seorang puteri,ermm mama kau tau tak pasal ni?" Di fikiran Ida masih jelas terdengar bila mak mertua Eza memuji sambal belacan hasi tangan sahabatnya itu. Sampai satu kampung tau keenakan sambal belacan Eza, dicanang oleh mak mertuanya itu.
" Mama aku tak tau, aku tak pernah bagitau sesiapa masalah aku ni, abang dan kakak aku pun tak pernah tau, dah 2 tahun aku macam ni dan mereka tak pernah tau apa-apa.Mereka sangka aku bahagia dengan Hisyam"
"Hisyam sendiri macam mana?"
" Dia tak pernah nampak semua ni sebagai masalah, bila aku cuba menagih perhatian tentang isu ini, dia hanya mampu berdiam diri, paling tidak dia akan cakap aku yang berlebih-lebih, dan sejak akhir-akhir ini dia selalu menangkan mak dan ipar duainya tu, sekarang ni mak dia datang tinggal dengan kami, dah dekat sebulan dah."
" Ohh..kenapa pulak orang tua tu duduk dengan korang, tambah masalah nanti" Sesungguhnya hatinya begitu simpati dengan nasib sahabatnya, namun tiada apa yang mampu dilakukan selain menjadi pendengar yang setia,
Eza merupakan seorang guru di sebuah sekolah di Bandar Tun Razak. Dia merupakan guru cemerlang matematik dan bertanggugjawab kepada kelas-kelas peperiksaan. Memanglah bila dengar kerjaya guru, semua orang akan fikir kerjanya senang tapi tidak bagi Eza, Ida memahami kerana dulu ibunya juga seorang pendidik. Setiap hari dia mempunyai kelas tambahan hingga pukul 4 petang, begitu juga di hujung minggu, ini tidak termasuk mesyuarat atau program-program lain yang perlu diuruskannya.Sebelum ini, mak mertua Eza hanya datang pada hujung minggu sahaja kononnya "family gathering" dan semua adik beradik hisyam yang lain akan datang berkumpul di rumahnya dengan alasan " Eza pandai masak". Kebetulan ada sekali Ida pernah ke rumah temannya itu untuk menghantar barang, dengan matanya sendiri dia melihat Eza balik dari pasar sendirian dengan barang-barang yang banyak tapi tiada siapa pun daripada keluarga itu datang menolongnya. Nama gathering, tapi apa yang Ida lihat Eza tak ubah seperti amah orang gaji mereka, lintang pukang dia menyiapkan beranika masakan semua dilakukan sendiri.Sekiranya penat lelah itu dihargai mungkin semua itu lebih berbaloi tapi malangnya....sindiran, kutukan tanpa ucapan terima kasih.Belum masuk lagi bab duit...Hisyam terlalu mengalah dengan keluarganya, dia tidak pernah memahami hati isterinya sendiri. Bagi Ida, Hisyam telah gagal sebagai seorang suami.
Tiada apa yang lebih bermakna daripada pengertian daripada insan yang kita sayang, yang kita harapkan, pasangan hidup kita...semuanya akan dapat menyembuhkan semua luka
Tetapi tak semua isteri dapat menjadi sahabat kepada suaminya dan bukan semua suami mampu menjadi teman rapat isterinya.Hmmm...
" Dia pindah sebab dia ingat aku nak rampas harta anak dia, dia risau kalau family aku datang guna barang yang anak dia beli..apa aku tak berhak ke atas harta Hisyam Ida?..Rumah ni, kami kongsi beli, aku pun bayar ansuran rumah ni, kereta tu pun takde satu sen pun duit Hisyam, Mana hak aku Ida?"
" Kau kena cakap dengan Hisyam Eza, kau tak boleh biarkan perkara ni terus macam ni,"
" Aku sayangkan dia, walau apapun suami aku"
" Tapi kau tak nampak ke kau ditindas, apa yang dia beli kat kau semua mak dia nak,apa yang kau buat semua tak kena pada mata mak dia, tambah lagi ipar-ipar kau, dah macam2 aku dengar psal diorang Eza, wakeup gurl...kau berhak dia suami kau"
" Bukan aku tak pernah cuba Ida, tapi dia sendiri tak mampu nak lawan family dia tu, bukannya dia tak sayangkan aku"
" Dah tu sampai bila korang nak mengalah dengan diorang tu, sampai kisah dalam kelambu ko pun adik beradik dia jaja kau tak malu ke??"
" Aku tau tu, tapi apa aku boleh buat.Kami ada anak Ida."
" Sebab ko ada anakla kau kena berusaha....Bahagia tu takkan datang dengan mudah tanpa usaha, padi pun takkan jadik beras kalau tak dituai. Kalau dia suami yang baik dia takkan biar kau terseksa macam ni"
" Selagi aku masih mampu bersabar aku akan tetap sabar"...
Ida hanya mampu mendiamkan diri..
"Okla Ida, nanti aku call kau lagi, aku doakan kau cepat sihat kay, aku nak masak kejap lagi mem tu bising la..ok ya take care"

Its all happen in Bangkok....

2009-08-10T12:05:00.001+08:00

One of my cousin gave me this and I wanna share it with you guys.....:o)

Be careful guys....hehe

Is it easy to forget everything, something or anything??

2009-08-09T08:39:00.007+08:00

What do you feel when you've been waiting for two hours and he or she called you " I'm sorry, I forget our date, we'll meet next time ok..." Or maybe you keep reminding but they simply forget what u asked for, what do you feel that time?

You might forget somoene, something,good things or bad things, your car key, your debt payment, your money,your mother, your fren..hmmm what else??. The worst part when you forget who you are...Is there anyone of us never forget anything once in their life?? Theres a lot of phrases such as " Forget Me Not, Forgive and Forget, Never forget" but how true is that?

Normally, forgetting everything is not possible because of we are human. I realize that we have emotions, feeling, sensations, intelect. But we can supressed any bad things in our mind and can nourish good things in mind towards good future. This is the mechanism of life and we all have to abide by this mechanism.

The reasons why do we forget?

We were not so serious and sincere at the time of acquring the fact

We failed to retain the fact in mind at the of acquring the fact

We neglected the fact at the time of acquring the fact.

We fail to understand the importance at the time of acquiring the fact.

Dont get mad if these are wrong..i grab this from one e-book which talked about FORGETTING.

As for me, it is not easy to forget everyhing, something which touch our heart always remain in memories, both good and bad things. How much ever we try to forget unpleasant things, it will remain more in our memory for a very long long time...hmmm

So, do u feel easy to remember everything???? or easy to forget everything???

p/s: Theres someone out there will forget something or anything only in 2 hours...can u I imagine how sad he is that wakaka. or maybe thats the sign he is getting older.....amalkanlah makan kismis n minum madu setiap hari Insyallah membantu..cubalah hehe....

Man from Mars, Woman from Venus...Is that true??

2009-08-09T01:26:00.005+08:00

Since I'm here I try to get more materials for me to read and read...One of the book I got it two days ago was this book. I've been reading this book and it really captured my heart away. It cost me only RM36.90 where I order it from Popular Bookstore. What I can share with you here, this book comprise with invaluable resources for improving relationship.

Maybe some of us, not to forget myself still trying hardt to understand our partner, or still looking for a good partner , your soulmate, after reading this you may have a clear understanding as why sometimes you felt resentful or neglected.

Wanna know why?....BECAUSE theres a huge difference between MEN and WOMAN.....

This book talked about how to control your anger, avoiding arguments, how to overcome miscommunication, give more love to your partner, differing emotional needs, respectful communication, asking for/ receiving support and much more......

I listed here some of the important point

Men believe in the maxim " it it ain't broke, don't fix it"
On the other hand woman might say " It it ain't broke, upgrade it"

Consequently, when a woman offers advice or crticism to a man, the man could misunderstand that she consider him inadequate.

When women ask questions such as " Do you have enough cash?"
or " Did you remember your umbrealla?"...She is treating others as she would like to be treated, but not as a man might like to be treated.

Men like to be considered competent, whereas women like to be cherished.

When men share their problems, they want solution, but for women they want empathy.
This difference result in situation in which a woman shares her problem, the men offers solutions and the woman becomes angry because the man " JUST NOT LISTENINg"
This difference could also result in a man feeling blamed for a problem whereas in fact he is not.

A man often wants solitude when he is thinking about problem.
A woman should be careful not to bother a man with question at such time.

A woman could have mood swings for no discernible reason.
A man should respect those swings and not take them personally.

When a man wants help he asks, when a woman wants help, she doesn't. A woman could make a mistake by offering help when a man doesnt ask.
But, a man could make a mistake by not sensing when a woman wants help.

Any other differences?...LOTS MORE..check it out!!

Well, this book is great. .Why dont you try to read it and blossom the love you have rather sturggling in your relationship if you are....

What do you say when someone say " I miss YOU"

2009-08-07T10:46:00.003+08:00

If someone you know say they miss you, what do you say to that? Is it okay not to reply? If should, what is the best way to reply that?

Before this, I don't really care about thsese things but the thoughts just occured to me that I might hurt the person if I dont reply...cos now I know how to MISS someone.

Its not as we're in love with each other.. maybe friend miss friend too... Saying " I miss you too" back seem like too hard to say. Why??

It is nice if you consider others feeling, if dont want to say "I miss you too" (maybe sound a bit awkward for some people) then try these"

Same! How ..(were ever they are) Dido- Back at you Miss ya 2- sounds less awkward or Joke: I thought you would be glad to get rid of me.

Whats the best you think??

Or maybe like this
" That is very nice of you,... very kind of you....very sweet of you"..

Or maybe this one " How nice of you to say so" hmmm which one?

Few of us maybe just say thank you, thanks..... or smile or if on chatting device thet just put a smiley there.... ( well i've done it before hehe)...or just say "OK!!!"....

Theres a fren of mine, his family never say I love you, never express what they feel with words,my partner says it becos they know and never have to say it. They demonstrate love and carring by doing things for each other......( huh I dont think so)

The worst thing when they change the topic ......hmmm

When i said I MISS YOU mean i am sad...i need someone to talk to, I''m really miss that person and he or she is always in my mind.

What Say You?

Wedding, Nikah, Kahwin....

2009-08-07T08:28:00.004+08:00

I sleep early last nite because of the "drug" huh..and for that reason I wakeup early this morning... as usual open my lappy and start hopping for anything...the word came to across my mind Wedding,Marriage or Nikah or Kahwin.....If in japanese langusage its "kokkun", " boda" in spain language or Hochzeit for german language. Whateva the words its mean the same.

Normally I dont talk abt this topic openly, because that word will touch me hmmm I keep the thought to myself or at least the one who close with me...Everyone has their own thought abt this, but I think mine is different. Here I'm gonna share a small amount of my outlook about WEDDING, NIKAH or KAHWIN or anything thats related to that. Dont take this seriously, just want to see it in a different angle.

Lately, there have been lots of weddings involves those who are around my age which make me think " how abt me?" or " what if it's mine?" One of the thoughts my mind is FEAR.

It will be a start for a new life, with someone new, with the families as well and also their lifestyle.I need to adapt to new environment, new people and new environment..........thats scary.I'm a weird type...will they accept me as who I am or I should change or adapt with that?? huhu That thoughts leaves "tarantula" in my stomach.

Million of advices about marriage life to be memorized !!! Fuhh... I'm a bad learning new thing, I always do what I want noone can stopped me. Kind of degil person, the more you asked for it the more I wont do that..thats me..

During the wedding reception, how can you stand the attention, all the snapshots, flashes of camera, the tease, the DSLR, the anxiety., the nerves I'm in the centre of attention.....Do not forget the MAKEUP ......I'm gonna run haha...Runaway Bride...If anyone who going to be my hubby, we should discuss about this clearly....

Insyallah. I'll be married the guy of my dream who loves and care me most.....BUT....will that LOVE long n last forever??....i saw a lot of Syariah Cases and heard lots of cases in marriage couples ...that is terrifying ( exaggeration tau....hehe)

Otherwise, I'm grateful bcos to be a gurl, becos if I'm a man I'm sure have fear more, since I'm going to be a leader of my family where everythings depend on me.

p/s: consider yourself lucky to be reading this..and my future husband will be lucky or unlucky person????/ hahaha i DONT KNOW..

Do and Do Not ....

2009-08-07T08:06:00.004+08:00

I do not define myself by how many roadblocks have appeared my path

I define myself by the courage I've found to forge new roads

I do not define myself by how many disappointment I've faced

I define myself by the forgiveness and the faith I have found to begin again

I do not define myself by how long a relationship lasted

I define myself by how much I have loved and been willing to love again

I do not define define myself by how many times I have been knocked down.

I define myself myself by how many times I have struggled to my feet

I am not my pain

I am not my past

I am that which has emerged from the fire

Apa kaitan dengan BATANG??

2009-08-06T09:18:00.003+08:00

Untuk entri kali ni, aku nak sentuh perkataan BATANG...penggunaannya dalam percakapan atau aktiviti kita sehari-hari. Agak-agak bila sebut jer perkataan BATANG?...apa yang korang terfikir? Sebatang pensel, sebatang pokok, sebatang kayu, sebatang tiang lampu,apa lagi yer? Nyior sebatang? Takpun ada juga yang gunakan batang hidung, batang kaki, batang tengkuk pun ada hmmm...Sebenarnya aku sendiri confius la..batang ni wujud sebagai perkataan BATANG atau SEBATANG ataupun mungkin jugak BERBATANG-BATANG.Entahla apa-apa jerlah kan.. tapi tak dapat dinafikan penggunaan BATANG begitu sinonim dengan kita semua,macam-macam boleh dirujuk dengan BATANG mengikut keadaan dan situasi penggunaannya hehe....cuba check kat tubuh badan korang ada apa-apa BATANG tak ??

SEBATANG penyapu digunakan untuk menyapu daun daripada SEBATANG pokok yang terdapat ditepi SEBATANG sungai di BATANG Ai, BERBATANG-BATANG pokok lain disitu digunakan untuk menghasilkan BATANG-BATANG mancis.

Betul ke ayat aku kat atas tu??...huhu Kalau tak betul korang pandai-pandailah buat ayat sendiri, cuma aku nak gambarkan kat sini betapa satu perkataan itu boleh membawa banyak maksud tersendiri. Oleh sebab itu, berhati-hatilah bila korang melafazkan kata-kata, kadangkala ia akan melukakan insan lain tanpa korang sedar, walaupun korang tak bermaksud ingin melukainya.Mungkin jugak disebabkan satu perkataan akan menimbulkan salah faham yang berpanjangan dan merosakkan hubungan korang. Tak semestinya apa yang ada dalam otak korang sama dengan apa yang ada dalam otak orang lain kan?? Moral of the story, cakap biarlah terang dan jelas bermaksud bagi mengelakkan semua itu berlaku.

LoNg LoSt LoVe

2009-08-06T08:47:00.003+08:00

oUr LoUGHs aRe tHe MoST meMoraBLe in mY

HeAD, I wON't forGeT tHoSe moMent thAT wE Had,

LouGHs thAt LasTed for so LoNg

tHaT wE cOuldN't BreTh and our TuMMies

HurT a LOT

Those sECondS on A huG tHat meaNT a LoT afTer a wHile and NeVer knoWing WhAt tHat feelinG wAs at all...

Now I haVe ThE feeLing like Those yoU are Riding a Roller CoaSter

I don't waNt a GooDBYE aNy LonGer

What IF I want for u nOT to Fly aWay agaIn tHiS tiME,

I wiSh you KneW how I FeeL, Leaving this BeHiNd BefoRe,

I wiSh I KneW beTTeR tO See

Its neVeR tOO Late..

I wiLL,

I Miss yoU So LoNg LoSt LOVE.....

Roses...

2009-08-06T07:48:00.004+08:00

Read this carefully and hope you will able to digest the words bit by bit...

A man planted a rosed and watered it faithfully,

and before it blossomed, he examined it.

He saw the bud that would soon blossom and also the thorns.

And he thought, " How can any beutiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns?"

Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose and before it was ready to bloom, it died.

**********************************************************

So, it is with many people. Within every sould there is a rose

GOd like qualities planted in us at birth growing amid the thorns of our faults.

Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns...........the DEFECTS.

We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us.

We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies.

We never realize our potential.

*******************************************************************

Some people do not see the rose within themselves;

Someone else must show it to them.

One of the greatest gift a person can possess is to be able to reach past of the thorns and find the rose within others.

This is the characteristic of LOVE, to look at the person and knowing his faults, recognize

the nobility in his sould and then, help him realize that he can overcome his faults.

If we show him the rose, he will conquer the thorns.

Then he will blossom, blooming forth thirty, sixty, a hundred folds as it given to him.

Our duty in this world is to HELP others by SHOWING THEM THEIR ROSES..............

Its irritating..........

2009-08-05T10:18:00.005+08:00

Pagi tadi dapat satu panggilanm...from one old fren, seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya dia akan kol aku setiap kali ada benda bagus berlaku pada dia or pada isteri dan anak dia. One more thing, he will call me each time bfore their wedding anniversary talking about his plan for celebrating that special day. Donno what the purpose he did that. Dah nama pun kawan kan layan jer la.....hehe...Antara perbualannya ialah:

" apa citer?"
"I baru lepas mandi, malas la nak pergi keja ari ni"
"ohh, so nak buat apa?"
"Nak jalan-jalan carik makan"
"wheres ur wife?"
" Ada tengah bersiap, dia ajak I pergi tgk pesta flora kat putrajaya"
"Ok, thats good, ur wife tak keje ek"
" You dah lupa ke, my wife tak keje kan?"
" lupa kot"
"Tapi every month I bayar gaji dia, ikut standard gaji executive"
"Oic thats good, untunglah wife you, tapi baper??"
" more than RM5K, kenapa u tanya?"
" Just a respond"
"Ohh I ingat u jeles dengan wife I"
"Apehal plak I nak jeles?"
"Yerlah, dia sekarang hidup senang dengan I, goyang kaki jer kat rumah tapi dapat 5 ribu jugak sebulan, tu la dulu I nak pinang u tak nak"
"ohh, macam tu ek?...ermm takpelah I'm not jeles at all, I'm happy for u, seem like your business running well, ok ke business?"
"Bolehlah, I baru je belikan wife I rantai berlian tau"
" oh yer ker?"
" Nipun dia mintak nak tukar kereta baru"
" Takpe, tukar jer la kereta berlambak kat kedai, every month keluar kereta baru kan, kalau wife you xbeli sape lagi nak beli, betul tak? Anything else?"

Setiap kalipun perbualannya akan menjadi lebih kurang sama....nilah dikatakan manusia ni ada macam-macam ragam, 1001 hal tentang manusia....takpelah nak buat macamana dah memang dia macam tu kan???..Agak-agak ada tak species macam ni wujud lag kat luar sana h,mmmm.........

JODOH??

2009-08-05T07:59:00.008+08:00

There's a wise phrase " You would think your life partner is the chosen one from billions of women on this planet, but rather , it;s the chosen one just from YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE".

It is customary, especially for Malays to use the excuse of "jodoh" to reject someone.It becomes annoying when someone you just start to get close, uttered these words:

" I'm sorry, tapi kita memang tak ada jodoh la. Saya doakan awak dapat pompuan yang lebih baik dari saya" or maybe like this:

" Maafkan saya, saya rasa sampai sini sajalah hubungan kita, kita memang tak ada jodoh, awak cariklah orang lain yang lebih baik daripada saya, saya rasa kita memang tak sesuai bersama"

Arghhhhhhhhh......... What a word....I hate all that and its equivalent. If u dislike someone or not ready for the relationship, just say so. Never pin your silly excuses on God. Can you really know that the one you're rejecting is not your "jodoh'? Can you be sure that you wont marry him/ her forever?

Hmm...I dont know how this jodoh system works and so far, Whats in your mind?? I'm sure your answer " I've no idea". I'm giving you the general definition I daresay is what most people know and believe. "Jodoh" id you chosen life partner that has been written in Luh Mahfuz since the creation of our sould. But then why divorce occurs?? The simplicity ends there. This created a whole new possibility in perceiving jodoh concept. Some said that divorce is the signal that a person's jodoh with his/her partner ends there. Then what if that persons remarries his/her old partner?? The jodo kind of reconnected? And what if the person married a whole dozen of other people before remarrying with his/ her first partner?? Will inteferes jodoh's? What about polygamy? So some people do have multiple jodoh's?Where I can sign up? Kidding

The things I can be sure of jodoh are people we are marrying are our jodoh, at that very moment, but not necessarily permanent. And we can only know that our jodoh are correct and permanent after we' re dead and still married to the same person. This is what I'm able to conclude after asking so many people about this. Mostly that I got is " Alaa dah jodoh....malasla nak fikir banyak-banyak..Kahwin jer la"

For me, I dont believe in wasting my life just to get the right partner.On the other hand, I trust that someone, somewhere, outside is made for me. There are so many possibilities to be explored than just wasting on seeking the right copulation mate.If look at my story, it just happen but I still believe in working for a relationship, not just pinning excuses on 'jodoh" for every little quarrels and misunderstanding.

The same things work for our destined life and death. We can pray for our lives to be prolonged and also take necessary measures to preserve our lives. So why not do the same for our jodoh.

To the new man n wife of my frens...I hope and pray that your " jodoh is correct.

But......you have to be dead to be sure of that :o)

Kisah Tulang Ikan....

2009-08-05T07:35:00.004+08:00

Malam tadi, tetiba datang someone mintak tolong hehe..ingatkan nak mintak tolong apa, rupanya anak dia lekat tulang and ask for me to put my finger in the water....hehe...nampak dia bersungguh-sungguh sangat aku pun buat aje la hehe...macam dah lama sangat tak terlibat dengan benda-benda macam ni..menurutnya anak dia dah 3 hari lekat tulang, siap dah pergi klinik tapi tulang tu tetap ada tersekat kat batang tekak anak dia tu..huhu...i'm wondering tulang apalah agaknya anak dia tu telan....maknya cakap makan ikan Beluru , pelik aku dibuatnya bukan ke ikan tu tulang dia kecik2 jer ker? eish2 malang betul nasib....Aku pun buatlah mcam yang dia suruh tu, masukkan jari manisku ke dalam segelas air, lebih kurang jam 10 malam mak budak telefon aku ckap tulang tu dah tak ada huhu...magic jugak jari aku ni. Mungkin betul jugak the myth huhu..Tapi ada satu lagi teori, arwah moyang aku yang cakap, kalau lekat tulang sapu minyak masak kat bontot huhu. Betul ke tak aku pun xpasti...Everybody, aku dulu sebenarnya dilahirkan tak cukup bulan dan sonsang, sejak dalam perut lagi aku ni bermasalah sampai la sekarang.Menurut ceritanya dekat sebulan jugak aku duk dalam inkubator dah la masa tu mak aku masih belajar lagi, nasibla badan,kena tinggal kat hospital sorang2, apa lagi yek...Masa kecik pun aku pun tak minum susu, just 14 days and after that my bodyy reject the milk...diorang sume sumbat minum glukos dah kecik2, nasib baik tak kena diabetic, pelik kan aku ni? Tapi memang pelik pun....

Inside me....

2009-08-04T12:28:00.005+08:00

As the day started, I'm feeling happy.Alhamdulillah.....

Finding hapiness is like finding yourself...we dont find hapiness but we make hapiness. we choose hapiness.It is a process of discovering who you are, who you want to be and paving the way to hapiness by doing what brings you to most meaning and contentment of your life over the long run.

My hope wont last...Hope itself is a species of hapiness and perhaps the chief hapiness of the worlds affords. As for me i never stop for hoping....And I'm happy for that.Thanks sayang.

Theres a French proverb :

"To live happy, live hidden."

In order to have great hapiness, it must come with great pain and unhappy otherwise how would we know that we are happy?? Theres no turning back for all these and I never regret it.

Hanya Tinggal Kenangan

2009-08-04T10:05:00.005+08:00

Malam itu, jari jemarinya pantas meng'klik" folder picture...mencari sesuatu...Dirasakan rindu membuak-buak dalam hatinya di kala itu. Terlalu rindu pada dirinya...

After seeing all the pictures and aid with a stress moment, something clouts her heart. Titis jernih mula mengalir membasahi pipi.Hatinya berkata, ini bukan masanya untuk melayan emosimu.....tapi dia tidak dapat mengawal dirinya daripada mengingati detik-detik terakhir hidup si dia bersama dirinya. Serasa semalam peristiwa itu berlaku.The memory wont be fade away..Walau apapun dia masih hidup dalam jiwanya, masih segar dalam ingatannya.Semuanya menjelma di kotak fikirannya, he talked, supported,angry and jokes around hmmm....sometimes she cant deny that she miss him too much. Its too sad when we missing someone that we cannot see him any longer. Hati diselubungi rasa sayu, sebak menyelubungi jiwa. Dia melihat jarinya masih terasa hangatnya tangan itu mengenggam jasad yang telah kaku, tidak bernyawa. Seolah-olah dunia gelap seketika di kala itu. Walaupun mereka semua telah bersedia untuk kehilangan dirinya namun kehilangan itu tetap terasa. Masih terdengar suaranya mengimamkan dirinya pada waktu Isya dan Subuh itu dia telah pergi menghadap Azali. Semoga rohmu Dicucuri Rahmat. Al-Fatihah.

He saved me....

2009-08-04T09:39:00.002+08:00

He saved me from myself. Before this i spent more than 40 hours a week to keep my mind busy with anything not to contemplate bad thoughts and to forget all the sadness happen occured in my life. I had attempted to end it all before, however I failed.I want so much to feel loved and to love someone else unconditionally.My life was empty ....I looked around and saw hapinesss... most of them hmmm.....my frens, my sis, my bro, my collegues ...everyone..I wanted that for myself too.I was drownning in loneliness.I'm searching for someone whom I can talk to, another human being that would not judge me, till I met him back where I can feel the connection between him and me. Day after days....the feeling getting stronger and strongher. Something drew me to him.Who knew of all sudden. he turn to be my hero and the other half of myself. I can feel his pain mirrored my own...LONELY.He made me feel like it was okay to be myself, that I was worth more than people had let me believe. Being with him, make me feel wonderful...He helped me to embrace Allah's love and love myself more. The truth is HE SAVED ME FROM MYSELF

DIvorcing A Friend

2009-08-04T09:04:00.004+08:00

Friends come in many categories, best fren, closefren..ada ex-fren....

The ideal of "Friendship Forever" has replaced that "marriage forever" but sometimes, that ideal turns out to be a myth.Just like couple, frens can breakuptoo..But how u dump a fren?? In cases of major rifts or betrayals....being direct but kind...Its cruel to abandon longtime friends without offering any reasons, its easy to let some friendship fizzle; Dont return calls as quickly; avoid plans or make them so far ahead thats theres time to cancel if u decide you still dont want to get together.Most people will start to get the hint.Phasing out frens who have put you down or who have let you down, pays other dividends.One benefit of pruning destructive friendship is having more time and energy to invest in positive friendship and to cultivate a new one.If you feel better about your frens..you r more likely to feel abt urself

to BE or NOT to BE

2009-08-04T00:04:00.004+08:00

Today I mentioned to someone about William Shakespear... I used to love his art's work before.I bet if he lives in our age, his work will be totally unparalled..beutiful plays...
One of his work remain in my mind and touching my heart...
T0 BE AND NOT TO BE

To be or not to be, that is the question;

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep;

No more; and by a sleep to say we end

The heart ache and the thousands natural shocks

That flesh is heir to- 'tis a consummation

Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;

To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay there's the rub,

For in that sleep death what dreams may come,

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause, There's the respect

That makes calamity of so long life,

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,

Th'oppressors wrong, the proud man's contumely,

The pangs of despised love, the laws delay,

The insolence of office, and the spurns

That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,

When himself might his quietus make

With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary life,

But that the dread of something after death,

The undiscovered country from whose bourn

No traveller returns puzzles the will,

And makes us rather bear those ills we have

Than fly to others that we know not of?

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,

And thus the native hue of resolution

Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,

And enterprise of great pitch and moment

With this regard their current turn awry

And lose the name of action

by: William Shakespear

The choice in ur hand ..to be or not to be......

p/s : thanks for that special someone who make my heart flowering again

BSURSICU B4

2009-08-03T09:43:00.006+08:00

Sometimes...

I'm not aware that I'm hurting you....

Sometimes...

I'm just think about myself....

Sometimes...

I'm being annoying....

Sometimes...

I broke your heart...

Sometimes...

I made you feel guilty...

Sometimes....

I forgot that you also have your own problems...

Sometimes...

I'm disturbing you...

Sometimes...

I'm not there when you need me

but ...remember.....

Sometimes..

You also hurt me...

Sometimes..

You dont even have time for me...

Sometimes...

You didnt reply me...

Sometimes...

You keep ignoring me....

but always remember...

no matter how many sometimes you did, I'm always be with you...I'm really care of you...You are always in my mind...

I know I"m not perfect...I'm not angle...I'm just human...never free from doing mistake...its ok if u won't forgive me but I just want you to...

BSURSICU B4

because I'm always need you....SAYANG.....

Here I am....

2009-08-03T09:32:00.002+08:00

I've been here for sometimes, and just being here is a long and arduos task that i must endure.......

How long to be free from all this??....

How I long to be free, walk upon this earth, feast upon its beuty....But it is not feasible, at least for now..........

How I envy those who are given the oppurtunity to be free, to be released of all kinds of duty and responsibility, save for a few....

As for now, I must remain here, where I belong....face what I have to....

Eventhough my soul is yearning, trying to claw up its dream, but its not the time yet....

There's always the next time......

and the next,......and the next....